I have to admit that I am somewhat of a geek at heart with a strong background and belief system rooted in science and empirical research. Consequently, when I heard the following two geeky jokes from Aaron Freeman - a truly interesting and funny man - I loved them and wish to share them here with like-minded folks (there is a third joke, but it needs to be told not written so ask me about it next time you speak with me). If you don't get them, you're just not sufficiently geeky.
Joke 1:
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender prepares it and places it on the bar. The neutron asks, "What do I owe ya?" The bartender replies, "You? No charge."
Joke 2:
Three statisticians went duck hunting. As the ducks flew overhead, the first statistician stood up and fired, the shots going just behind the ducks. The second statistician stood up and fired, the shots going just in front of the ducks. The third statistician stood up and yelled, "WE GOT'EM!!"
Yuk, yuk . . .
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The Blues About The Blues
I know that all of America voted on it in a democratic process, and they seem to have permeated everyday life, but I just can't get used to blue M&Ms being part of the regular mix. It is an abomination before whatever deity you pray to.
Today's Bushism
From today's George W. Bushisms calendar - particularly timely in light of current recession fears:
"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."
Only 356 days left!
"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."
--Appearing on The Edge with Paula Zahn;
September 18, 2000
Only 356 days left!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Parents' Career Day
This morning I went to Parents' Career Day for Molly's Class. About 12 parents came to talk about what they do for a living.
There were a couple of lawyers, a couple of stock analysts, a financial planner, a massage therapist, an artist, and a few others.
I have a hard enough time explaining what I do to adults, no less eight-year olds but I must have done a pretty good job. The kids had prepared a list of questions the day before to ask parents like "Do you travel?", "Do you like the people you work with?", and "What did you want to be when you were growing up?" I was the only parent to get questions related to what I was talking about which means they were not only listening, but thinking it through.
I was also apparently fairly entertaining. When asked by one student what I would do if I didn't have this job, I said that when I was younger I wanted to be a detective but now I'd be a travel writer. Molly's teacher whispered to Betsy her response for me - stand-up comedian!
I had a great time, and hope that I inspired some second graders to consider a career in healthcare information technology consulting!
There were a couple of lawyers, a couple of stock analysts, a financial planner, a massage therapist, an artist, and a few others.
I have a hard enough time explaining what I do to adults, no less eight-year olds but I must have done a pretty good job. The kids had prepared a list of questions the day before to ask parents like "Do you travel?", "Do you like the people you work with?", and "What did you want to be when you were growing up?" I was the only parent to get questions related to what I was talking about which means they were not only listening, but thinking it through.
I was also apparently fairly entertaining. When asked by one student what I would do if I didn't have this job, I said that when I was younger I wanted to be a detective but now I'd be a travel writer. Molly's teacher whispered to Betsy her response for me - stand-up comedian!
I had a great time, and hope that I inspired some second graders to consider a career in healthcare information technology consulting!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Composer Is Dead
Today we attended the New York premiere of a very cool musical performance piece entitled The Composer Is Dead with music by Nathaniel Stookey and words by Lemony Snicket. It was performed by The Little Orchestra Society and narrated live by Lemony Snicket
Yes, Lemony Snicket. For those who don't know, Lemony Snicket (the author of those books about a series of unfortunate events) is, in real life, Daniel Handler (read more here).
The Composer Is Dead is essentially a very humorous story intertwined with a symphonic musical piece that details the investigation of the murder of a composer. Daniel Handler proved that not only is he an outstanding author and storyteller, but a darn fine performer as well.
My favorite narrative part was from the beginning:
'A composer thinks up melodies, hums tunes, thinks about how the orchestra will sound and writes down the notes. This is called composing. This time, however, the composer was not humming tunes or writing down notes. In fact, he wasn't even breathing. This is called decomposing.'
It will be out in a picture book with accompanying CD in 2009. Look for it.
Yes, Lemony Snicket. For those who don't know, Lemony Snicket (the author of those books about a series of unfortunate events) is, in real life, Daniel Handler (read more here).
The Composer Is Dead is essentially a very humorous story intertwined with a symphonic musical piece that details the investigation of the murder of a composer. Daniel Handler proved that not only is he an outstanding author and storyteller, but a darn fine performer as well.
My favorite narrative part was from the beginning:
'A composer thinks up melodies, hums tunes, thinks about how the orchestra will sound and writes down the notes. This is called composing. This time, however, the composer was not humming tunes or writing down notes. In fact, he wasn't even breathing. This is called decomposing.'
It will be out in a picture book with accompanying CD in 2009. Look for it.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Troubled Tush
Last night Sam told me the name of the book he took out from the library. I didn't believe him until he showed it to me.
"The Day My Butt Went Psycho - Based on a True Story."
Dickens it ain't . . .
"The Day My Butt Went Psycho - Based on a True Story."
Dickens it ain't . . .
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Bushism Calendar
I picked up a great 2008 desk calendar for my office - "George W. Bushisms" - containing a different quote from our fearless leader for each day of the year. It's also cool in that it features a countdown until he's out of office (only 377 days left from today!).
All of them are funny, but some are better than others so I will post one from time to time, starting with today's.
"This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates; these are the actual results for the fiscal year ended February thirtieth."
All of them are funny, but some are better than others so I will post one from time to time, starting with today's.
"This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates; these are the actual results for the fiscal year ended February thirtieth."
-- Referring to the fiscal year that ended
on September 30; Washington, D.C.;
October 11, 2006
Monday, January 07, 2008
Ben Stiller in Miami Vice
I honestly don't know what made me remember this today, but I thought I'd share it as I got a big kick out of it at the time.
In the spring of 2001, I was in Tel Aviv on business (worked for an Israeli company at the time). Impacted by jet lag I found myself one morning flipping through TV channels at about 3:00AM. I stumbled across a channel that was having a Miami Vice marathon and given the paucity of other things to watch, I tuned in for a while. Imagine my surprise when Ben Stiller appeared in a bit part in this episode from 1987. The other funny thing is that Brian Dennehy also starred as a crooked minister aptly named "Reverend Billy Bob Proverb."
In the spring of 2001, I was in Tel Aviv on business (worked for an Israeli company at the time). Impacted by jet lag I found myself one morning flipping through TV channels at about 3:00AM. I stumbled across a channel that was having a Miami Vice marathon and given the paucity of other things to watch, I tuned in for a while. Imagine my surprise when Ben Stiller appeared in a bit part in this episode from 1987. The other funny thing is that Brian Dennehy also starred as a crooked minister aptly named "Reverend Billy Bob Proverb."
Friday, January 04, 2008
A Shout Out to Rob
Rob is married to my cousin Dana and they live in the Dallas area. Rob is a great guy and a born and bred Brooklynite.
When Rob read my post about tourists in NYC at the holidays (check it out here), he loved it and told me that it helped him finally get Dana to understand how we feel about out-of-towners here in the Big Apple.
If only every entry in my blog could bring peace and understanding among the nations . . .
When Rob read my post about tourists in NYC at the holidays (check it out here), he loved it and told me that it helped him finally get Dana to understand how we feel about out-of-towners here in the Big Apple.
If only every entry in my blog could bring peace and understanding among the nations . . .
Santa Pics
I just got some pictures from when I played Santa a few weeks ago (see original post here).
The first two are with some of the kids. The girl sitting on my knee in the first pic is the one who asked me to bring her a baby.
The third pic is with the CEO of the health center on my knee.
The fourth pic is Lorraine, the head of community outreach, helping to buckle the belt beneath my pillow-stuffed tummy. Out-of-context, it seems as if Santa is really enjoying the experience!
The first two are with some of the kids. The girl sitting on my knee in the first pic is the one who asked me to bring her a baby.
The third pic is with the CEO of the health center on my knee.
The fourth pic is Lorraine, the head of community outreach, helping to buckle the belt beneath my pillow-stuffed tummy. Out-of-context, it seems as if Santa is really enjoying the experience!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Boston Surprises
We just came back from our annual trip to Boston for New Years. We go every year for their First Night celebration and an assortment of other activities including pool time at the hotel, at least one stop at the Museum of Science and lunch at Pizzeria Regina in the North End. This year we added some new meals at Boston landmarks including a lunch at Durgin Park, a dinner at Hammersley's Bistro (one of Betsy's favorite restaurants and we even had an opportunity to chat with Gordon Hammersley) and a breakfast at The Paramount on Beacon Hill. It was also pretty thrilling to be in town when the Pats took the Giants to claim their historic place in NFL history with a 16-0 regular season.
What surprised us this year was the kids' interest in some new activities. First was the Freedom Trail. Sammy and I had recently watched the movie 1776 - the film version of the Broadway show which details the events leading up to July 4, 1776 and the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Consequently, he was able to relate to many of the landmarks and was excited about linking what he learned in the movie with things that we were actually seeing. It was a cold day and Molly did a lot of complaining (soothed with a hot chocolate stop at Starbucks), but Sammy was loving it.
The next surprise was a special CSI exhibit at the Museum of Science. It was very well done and walks you through an interactive investigation of a crime through forensics which requires you to solve the mystery of a murder. A couple of years ago Sammy was very into detective work, but this time it was Molly that fully embraced it, even getting past her anxieties about death to solve the puzzle (the victim's ex-wife did the dirty deed).
Although the kids do like interactive museums, we decided to expose them to some art as well and took them to one of our favorites, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. Again, while Molly complained most of the time, Sammy really got into it, piecing together things he has learned in school over the past couple of years as well as having a general appreciation for all of the different types of art presented.
The last and perhaps most meaningful surprise was this morning. Before going back to work I had a chat with Molly about all of the things we did and asked her which she liked the most. We went through the very long list of activities and restaurants. Her favorite activity - which wasn't even on the list we came up with - truly warmed my heart. On Saturday night we went to Hammersley's with our family friend Jeanne who is one of my mother-in-law's oldest friends. It was about a 15 minute walk from our hotel and while Jeanne and Betsy strolled and chatted behind us, Sammy, Molly and I had a great time holding hands, telling jokes and riddles, and generally fooling around. It was the first time in a while that I was able to leave behind anything that was on my mind and just completely enjoy my kids. This was what Molly declared as her favorite activity and I nearly cried when she told me that.
A nice way to start the new year!
What surprised us this year was the kids' interest in some new activities. First was the Freedom Trail. Sammy and I had recently watched the movie 1776 - the film version of the Broadway show which details the events leading up to July 4, 1776 and the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Consequently, he was able to relate to many of the landmarks and was excited about linking what he learned in the movie with things that we were actually seeing. It was a cold day and Molly did a lot of complaining (soothed with a hot chocolate stop at Starbucks), but Sammy was loving it.
The next surprise was a special CSI exhibit at the Museum of Science. It was very well done and walks you through an interactive investigation of a crime through forensics which requires you to solve the mystery of a murder. A couple of years ago Sammy was very into detective work, but this time it was Molly that fully embraced it, even getting past her anxieties about death to solve the puzzle (the victim's ex-wife did the dirty deed).
Although the kids do like interactive museums, we decided to expose them to some art as well and took them to one of our favorites, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. Again, while Molly complained most of the time, Sammy really got into it, piecing together things he has learned in school over the past couple of years as well as having a general appreciation for all of the different types of art presented.
The last and perhaps most meaningful surprise was this morning. Before going back to work I had a chat with Molly about all of the things we did and asked her which she liked the most. We went through the very long list of activities and restaurants. Her favorite activity - which wasn't even on the list we came up with - truly warmed my heart. On Saturday night we went to Hammersley's with our family friend Jeanne who is one of my mother-in-law's oldest friends. It was about a 15 minute walk from our hotel and while Jeanne and Betsy strolled and chatted behind us, Sammy, Molly and I had a great time holding hands, telling jokes and riddles, and generally fooling around. It was the first time in a while that I was able to leave behind anything that was on my mind and just completely enjoy my kids. This was what Molly declared as her favorite activity and I nearly cried when she told me that.
A nice way to start the new year!
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