Mrs. Smith

As mentioned in a previous post, my Aunt Judy is in hospice care at a skilled nursing facility (aka nursing home) in Brooklyn. Although she is receiving palliative care, she is in a room on a regular nursing unit and has a roommate.

Due to her condition, she cannot really speak and therefore does not converse or interact with her neighbor (the curtain between the beds is usually drawn as well). Her neighbor, whom I shall call Mrs. Smith, is an older black woman who gets around in a wheelchair. When I visit Judy, Mrs. Smith is always in her wheelchair and out of her bed which is then very neatly made. Mrs. Smith is always impeccably dressed and coiffed. She always has fresh flowers and a selection of apparently homemade snacks sitting on the table near her bed. Clearly, she is a very proud woman with friends and/or family who must visit often.

I do not know Mrs. Smith’s diagnosis, but one thing I do know is that she exists in many worlds simultaneously, and has proven to be a good match for my aunt as Mrs. Smith has conversations with and about anything in her environment. On various visits I have observed Mrs. Smith having a conversation in her soft and somewhat mumbled way with the following: Her nurse, her television, her radio, my aunt, me, and apparently herself. What makes these conversations interesting is that they seem to be formed from a stream of consciousness that encompasses both the past and whatever is going on at the moment.

One day when I was visiting Judy, Mrs. Smith was having a conversation with the minister who was preaching on her radio. At the same time, I was telling my aunt about my son Sam’s birthday party in which we took him and some friends to see the movie “Robots” and then to our house for pizza and cake. I realized that Mrs. Smith must have been listening as her barely audible monologue went something like this:

“That’s right, Jesus was the one. He helped the people and then look what they did to him. I like these cookies, they are delicious but not too sweet because you know I don’t like things too sweet. Yes, I know them little boys do love the movies. I bet they ate lots of popcorn. You tell ‘em reverend. Hallelujah! They just a bunch of sinners. Those tulips are still so pretty. I like the yellow ones but maybe I’ll get me some pink ones to. When I was a girl I used to love pink flowers, especially in church. I used to love pizza but I can’t eat it anymore. I’ll bet that cake was good. Maybe I’ll have some cake later. Don’t know that movie but I know them boys do love goin’ to the movies.”

They may never have crossed paths before and they never will again, but Aunt Judy and Mrs. Smith seem to have developed a rhythm in which they may not be friends but they do not bother each other either. They are soft-spoken souls being cared for by staff, friends, and family. There are worse ways to live out the days of one’s life.