When Did I Become a Follower?

I noticed it some time within the last year, when one person said it to me. Then it happened a few more times. Now, I seem to be hearing it an awful lot, including twice today before 11AM.

When standing in line waiting - for a cashier at the store, at Starbucks, to check-in at a hotel - I used to be called up, hearing "Next customer," or "Next guest." Now, all I seem to hear is "Following customer."

I am sure that some marketing guru published a paper on this since it seems to have become a trend. The problem is that I really don't like it.

Being "next" has a connotation that you are now going to be taken care of. You waited for your turn and now you are the next one who will be served. It has a sense of achievement, a sense of finality. You have made it to the head of the line. You have won something - even if it's only the right to have your purchases rung up.

Do people (not you - other people) watch "America's Following Top Model" or "Star Trek: The Following Generation"? Does the teaser at 10:59PM say "Coming up following on Eyewitness News?" Does the announcer say, "Caitlin Bree, come on down! You're the following contestant on The Price Is Right?" Do you ship things "Following Day Air?"

No. Of course not. You're not the following customer, you're the next customer. Let's suppose you approach the panel of tellers at an otherwise empty bank, but the two that are open are busy and looking down. You wait until one of them is ready and usually, they say "Next." If they say "I can help the following customer," who are you following? There's no one else there.

To make matters worse, I'm more of a leader rather than a follower. I don't follow. I don't want to follow. I want to be next.

So to all the stores, hotels, restaurants, banks, etc - just cut it out. No more following. In your best Johnny Olsen or Don Pardo voice just say "Matthew Grob, come on down. You're the next customer to order a latte!" And sound like you mean it.