The Grobtrotter

R.I.P. Rocky

2009-06-27T15:56:00.002-04:00

On the day that the rest of the world was mourning Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, our family was mourning the passing of our hamster, Rocky.

Rocky was young - only about 8 months old - but had very recently exhibited signs of illness, including lethargy, bloating and constipation. We believe he did not suffer long.

Nine-year old Molly clearly was the most devastated as Rocky belonged to her and although she knows people who have died, this was her first experience with death on a more personal level. I give her a lot of credit. Initially she did not want to see Rocky's body, but she eventually changed her mind and actually petted him one last time. As one might imagine, there has been a lot of crying in our home the last couple of days.

He died on Thursday and that evening I wrapped him in white Bounty paper towels and he lay in state overnight in a Kenneth Cole shoe box. On Friday afternoon, we held a brief service in which we all spoke about how much we loved Rocky and what he meant to us. I read a poem we had found on the web written by another young girl who had lost her hamster. Rocky then had a burial at sea (or at least, at Hudson River).

We were all affected by this cute little fellow whom everyone that met him adored. As much as a hamster can have a personality, he certainly had one, and even though all the books we read said that they don't like to be handled closely, he was most comfortable in Molly's cupped hands and sometimes even fell asleep in her lap while she watched TV.

Molly asked if we could get another hamster in the fall. My first question was, "Do we name him Rocky 2?" And will the next ones be 3, 4 and 5 - or should we start calling them Rambo?

Rest in Peace Rocky. We will miss you.

When Did I Become a Follower?

2009-06-14T16:31:00.002-04:00

I noticed it some time within the last year, when one person said it to me. Then it happened a few more times. Now, I seem to be hearing it an awful lot, including twice today before 11AM.

When standing in line waiting - for a cashier at the store, at Starbucks, to check-in at a hotel - I used to be called up, hearing "Next customer," or "Next guest." Now, all I seem to hear is "Following customer."

I am sure that some marketing guru published a paper on this since it seems to have become a trend. The problem is that I really don't like it.

Being "next" has a connotation that you are now going to be taken care of. You waited for your turn and now you are the next one who will be served. It has a sense of achievement, a sense of finality. You have made it to the head of the line. You have won something - even if it's only the right to have your purchases rung up.

Do people (not you - other people) watch "America's Following Top Model" or "Star Trek: The Following Generation"? Does the teaser at 10:59PM say "Coming up following on Eyewitness News?" Does the announcer say, "Caitlin Bree, come on down! You're the following contestant on The Price Is Right?" Do you ship things "Following Day Air?"

No. Of course not. You're not the following customer, you're the next customer. Let's suppose you approach the panel of tellers at an otherwise empty bank, but the two that are open are busy and looking down. You wait until one of them is ready and usually, they say "Next." If they say "I can help the following customer," who are you following? There's no one else there.

To make matters worse, I'm more of a leader rather than a follower. I don't follow. I don't want to follow. I want to be next.

So to all the stores, hotels, restaurants, banks, etc - just cut it out. No more following. In your best Johnny Olsen or Don Pardo voice just say "Matthew Grob, come on down. You're the next customer to order a latte!" And sound like you mean it.

Cellular Abroad

2009-06-08T13:39:00.003-04:00

I was ordering an unlocked GSM phone and SIM card for France from Cellular Abroad for my wife and daughter who will be there next month. It’s a pretty neat concept and all told, a good value – especially since we can use the phone back here in the US once they return as it is unlocked.

I placed my order on their website and after providing all the required demographic and payment information and hitting “Submit”, I received an error message that there was a problem with my order and to please call them, which I did. I spoke with a nice young man who looked at the order and initially said that everything looked okay, but then said “Uh-oh. Here’s the problem. You’re not accessing our website from the same area where the phone is being shipped.”

I was doing this from my work laptop through a VPN connection and our corporate data center is located in the Midwest, so the IP address that was read by their website showed that I was in Minnesota, and not New York where the phone was being shipped.

I was told that since there is big business in fraud related to no-contract phones, their website has numerous fraud prevention methods built in, including matching IP address and shipping location.

The geek in me thought this was the coolest thing ever, and I told him so. This elicited an interesting response – he was very thankful. Apparently, others who get caught by these and other fraud prevention tactics are often annoyed and angry, and he has to deal with these folks. It was an apparent ray of sunshine for him to speak with someone who not only appreciated their efforts, but found them to be cool.

I really am a geek at heart.

So if you’re traveling abroad and need a local cell phone with great rates for calling back to the US, check out Cellular Abroad.

Do We Really Still Need to Be Taught How to Operate Seat Belts?

2009-05-30T17:54:00.002-04:00

I fly a lot and usually ignore the safety demos. That’s not to say I’m not conscientious about safety. I always note where the nearest exits are – both in front and behind me – and when I’m in an exit row, I review what maneuvers are required to open the emergency exit should I be called upon to do so.

On a flight this week, the flight attendant made a particular point of asking everyone to please put down their books, open their eyes, and pay attention to the safety demo. And that’s when I realized that they still teach us how to buckle and un-buckle a seat belt.

Okay, I understand that there are people in this world who have never seen a seat belt, and so I can understand why such instruction might be necessary. I imagine, however, that such people live in third world countries and consequently I don’t understand why we still do this on domestic flights. If they took a plane to get here, they’ve already been instructed how to operate the belt in question. And of course, this also presumes that people who don’t know how to use a seat belt also speak English since that’s the only language in which the safety demo is conducted.

Seat belts were first used in aircraft in the 1930s. The engineer that invented them for Ford did so based on his experience as a military flight instructor and they weren’t standard in the front seats of cars until 1964 – rear seat belts became standard in 1968 – and the first seat belt law was passed in 1970 in Australia.

So I started thinking if there is any other technology that has been in common usage since the 1960’s for which instructions are still provided. The first one that came to mind was the touch-tone phone. When you pick one up today, do you hear a voice instructing you to “Depress keys with the numbers corresponding to the telephone number which you wish to reach, in the same sequence as the telephone number itself. After depressing the key with the last number, wait a brief moment until your call is connected. Once you have finished with your call, replace the handset in the cradle. This will terminate the connection.”

When you pick up the remote control for the TV, is there a reminder that you press the “Power” button to turn the device on and off, and how to use the Channel and Volume buttons?

And have you recently picked up a can of soda or beer and been stymied by the pop-top device, wishing instead that you still lived in the days when you needed a pointy can-opener to do the job?

Let me know if you can think of others. I just wish flight attendants would give us detailed instructions in how to open those tiny bags of pretzels or peanuts without either spilling them all over or elbowing our seat neighbor when trying to pull the seams on the bag apart and they suddenly give way. Now that would be helpful safety information.

Okay, I Admit It. I Like Justin Timberlake.

2009-05-16T08:21:00.001-04:00

Although I do try to stay on top of what’s going on in popular culture, with the exception of Entourage I don’t necessarily get very excited about many things going on in the media. Up until recently, that went for Justin Timberlake as well. I’m not a huge fan of his music, though I do like some songs

His appearances on Saturday Night Live, however, have begun to convert me to a fan. Aside from the fact that he seems to be genuinely funny and very creative – especially when paired with Andy Samberg – when I have seen him in interviews over the past year, it would appear that he has a brain too. It’s a sad statement that I find that the exception rather than the rule when it comes to celebrities.

And I guess that’s my point. Just because someone is a celebrity, does not automatically confer upon them the attributes of being smart, articulate, or having a point of view I am even remotely interested hearing about. It would seem, however, that Justin does have all those attributes, and for that I respect and admire him.

His appearance on the May 9, 2009 SNL was what made me think about this. Aside from the fact that he is so much more comfortable doing live TV than other guest hosts and that he is perfectly comfortable parodying himself for the sake of a laugh, he really seems to bring the rest of the cast along with him. There is a palpable sense that they are happy to be working with him and it showed in the output – one of the best episodes in a long time from start to finish.

No, it’s not a man-crush, and he’s not even in the top 10 of the list of people I’d like to sit next to on an airplane. I just think the guy’s got talent on many fronts and a good head on his shoulders.

One request, though. Please don’t refer to him as “JT.” There is and will only ever be one “JT” and that’s James Taylor.

New Calendar Entries

2009-05-05T15:37:00.001-04:00

My 2008 George W. Bushisms calendar (which many of you read excerpts from here on my blog) was replaced by a 2009 “365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” calendar. Though not quite as entertaining as the previous one, it certainly has it’s funny moments. Here are two of my more recent faves:

Actual Domain Names (read them carefully!)

Who Represents – A site to find agents of celebrities
www.whorepresents.com

Experts Exchange – A programmers site, though they’ve recently changed the domain name
www.expertsexchange.com

Sign at a Hotel Buffet in Mexico

Pene con Pollo y Curry
Penis with Chicken and Curry

Death Is Nothing At All

2009-04-21T08:24:00.003-04:00

I had seen this poem before and always liked it. As someone who lost his father too early, I have often been somewhat philosophical about death - both that of others and when pondering my own fate.

I finally got around to getting the full version and looking into its history. Written by Henry Scott-Holland (1847-1918) who was the Canon of St Paul's Cathedral in England, it was apparently read as part of the sermon while the body of King Edward VII was lying in state at Westminster in 1910.

I don't mean to sound morbid, but when my time comes, I hope that those around me will heed these words. And for those who have experienced the death of a loved one, I hope that it brings some comfort as well.

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Six Degrees of Warren Brodine

2009-04-05T00:16:00.002-04:00

Warren Brodine is a friend and former colleague. We worked together at RSM McGladrey and he is now a client as the CEO of a community health center here in Chicago where I am on business. Conveniently, Warren was celebrating his 40th birthday tonight so I was invited and able to attend the bash.

One of the jokes in the office was always that Warren knows everyone. It was easier to play "Six Degrees of Warren" than "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."

This proved true tonight. At Warren's party:

I met Alan and Grant who just last week saw my in-laws in a documentary on LOGO;
I met Doug who is a health law attorney in Kansas City and who works with an organization that I was recently brought in to speak with about a potential business opportunity;
I saw Kelly who I had met previously through Warren and who holds a senior position with HIMSS (an organization that I am associated with professionally) and who has been an invaluable help;
I re-met Dan. Dan did an Executive MPH at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health and was a student in a class at which I guest lectured in 2006.

Talk about a small world!

Facebook Is To Blame For The Paucity of Blog Entries

2009-03-18T21:31:00.004-04:00

I joined Facebook back in December and have noticed an interesting phenomenon. The longer I’ve been on it, the fewer posts to my blog I’ve been making. Why is that?

I think it’s because of our increasingly shorter attention spans. In most cases, to write a blog entry I have to first have an idea or concept and then try to spend some time crafting some type of prose around that idea. That takes time and energy and while I certainly enjoy the process, I don’t always have the luxury of time or energy.

Then along comes Facebook, with the opportunity not only to jot down your own witty and pithy comments via status messages, but also view those of your friends. Of course, the witty and pithy quality of many of your friends’ statuses is questionable. “Just took the dog for a walk” is ridiculous – unless you’re talking about a yo-yo.

I haven’t explored Twitter yet but don’t think I’ll like it. At least Facebook gives you more than just the status messages. Some of my friends do post interesting links, notes and pictures. And as much as I love and respect my 17-year old nephew, this peek into his world, his friends and their goings-on sometimes makes me wonder if I was ever that inhibited in my younger days.

So here I am, writing a blog entry about Facebook. And not just about Facebook, but about my status messages. You see, I think I’ve become a bit more sophisticated about these things since I’ve started using it and also reading the status messages of some of my funnier friends. My favorites are by Joe Dator, but then he’s a professional humorist so I expect nothing less. Here then, is a sampling of those little messages forcibly written in the third person. Enjoy!

Matthew is trying to remember if the Talmud instructs us to eat Chinese food on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
Matthew wants to be taken to Funkytown.
Matthew can't decide whether he wants to be the eggman or the walrus.
Matthew is doing the Locomotion.
Matthew shot the sheriff but he did not shoot the deputy.
Matthew is calling Ghostbusters.
Matthew thinks that while comedians may be disappointed that Dubbya is gone, they should be thankful for Rod Blagojevich.
Matthew thinks it a bit strange that Facebook statuses are told in the third-person. Matthew thinks this is rather like a particular Seinfeld episode.
Matthew can't wait to get stimulated by the Federal government.
Matthew thinks that the golden age of rock 'n roll was when bands were named after places (e.g. Chicago, Boston, Kansas).
Matthew is happy that the official start of spring has arrived - The Allman Brothers start their annual 3-week gig at The Beacon tonight.
Matthew is having lunch today with Zero Mostel's nephew.
Matthew just had 17 kids in the house for Sam's birthday party. Now where's that bottle of Scotch?
Matthew remembers better days when referring to "Bernie" meant Williams of the Yankees and not Madoff.
Matthew saw a down & out kinda guy on the street today holding a sign that said "Please give me money for beer, drugs and a hooker (at least I'm not bullshitting you)."

Coffee Nirvana

2009-02-08T09:23:00.002-05:00

I don't usually claim something to be "the best" as I recognize that everyone's tastes, priorities, desires, etc. are different.

I can, however, and without qualification state that I had the best cup of coffee (okay it was a cappuccino) yesterday and it was thanks to the folks at Ninth Street Espresso.

I've had really bad coffee and really good coffee. Ninth Street Espresso is off the charts on the good side of that spectrum. I have never had such a strong reaction to something so good, which surprised me.

There are only 6 or 7 things on the menu and they are all coffee. A Mocha is about as fancy as they get, and the quality comes from a combination of the beans, the roasting and the preparation which is done with great care.

I also love the last item on the list of house rules. "Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free dog." Outrageously outstanding coffee, free WiFi AND a sense of humor. What's not to love?

The Paper Goods on Shabbat Story

2009-02-01T10:28:00.009-05:00

Over MLK weekend, we held the fifth Limmud NY conference at the Nevele (see my original post "Coming Home to the Catskills") and it was not without its challenges, namely that the hotel was unable to get the heat going in the building until after the conference had started. Even then, it never got to parts of the hotel all weekend. And this was the weekend that arctic chill hit the region with overnight lows below zero, not even factoring in wind chill.

I had been asked to be the M.C. for our big Sunday night event - a Catskills-style variety show. I had prepared some shtick in advance and was looking forward to being a "kosher ham." Little did I know that the problems with the heat would have provided me with a story which, when I told it between acts at the show, turned out to be one of the highlights of the weekend. Aside from the laughs I got while telling the story, I got many accolades afterwards, including some requests for a recording of my performance. One person actually offered to pay for a recording (does that mean I'm now a professional?).

Unfortunately, the person recording the show was - in order to conserve battery power - recording the acts only, and not my patter between them. Sadly, no record of my performance exists, but I have tried to recreate the story here. It certainly loses something in the transition from spoken delivery to the written word, but I have tried to be faithful to the story. If you'd like me to perform the routine, I'm available for bar mitzvahs, weddings and birthday parties.

As a member of the board of Limmud NY, I was one of those working closely to address the heating problems at the hotel. I learned more about boilers and plumbing that weekend than I ever cared to (just ask me about the virtues of #4 oil in a #2/#6 oil world). I also learned about catering, more specifically about kosher catering, and even more specifically about kosher catering on Shabbat.

The boilers at the Nevele are located about a quarter mile up a hill behind the hotel. Once repaired and brought on-line, the boilers have to build up enough pressure to send steam down through underground pipes to the hotel to provide heat both for ventilation and the domestic water supply (i.e. the water that comes out of faucets). The boiler was repaired Friday morning and came on-line around lunch-time. When the steam finally started flowing, the first place it had to go was the kitchen so that they could start cooking Shabbat dinner.

In order to prepare the kitchen at the Nevele for kosher catering, one of the things that must happen is that the two dishwashers (one for dairy, one for meat) must be koshered - that is to say they must be cleansed with water that has reached a certain minimum temperature. This is for food safety reasons as well. Because of the Nevele's problems, the water was not getting hot enough in the meat dishwasher. Since Friday night's Shabbat dinner was a meat meal - chicken dinner for 700 people - this posed a serious problem, and our caterer, Mark, kept telling us that if the dishwasher did not get hot enough by a certain time, he would have to serve on paper goods. Yoni, the mashgiach (the person who certifies that a kosher kitchen is, well, kosher) kept monitoring the temperature but it wasn't looking good.

Now I should tell you that I am a Reform Jew who does not keep kosher. I do, however, know the laws and rules for keeping kosher - in the home. Learning about kosher catering, and the intricacies of feeding 700 people was new to me.

With 3 hours to go until Shabbat was to begin, I learned two very important facts that would make those next 3 hours among the most interesting of my life to date. First, I learned that while Mark kept referencing paper goods, he did not have those paper goods. Why should he? He assumed - and rightly so - that he would have access to a working kitchen. Second, I learned from the mashgiach that only goods delivered before Shabbat started could be used.

A mild panic began setting in as I started going over the options in my head. First of all, how many paper goods were we talking about? I asked Mark for a list of what he would need to get through Shabbat. The answer - approximately 8,000 plates, 700 soup bowls, 7,000 cups, and 10,000 pieces of plastic cutlery (All the other meals on Shabbat are buffet and between people using more plates than usual at a buffet, the goods were also needed for the snacks that were served all day long).

I immediately realized that we had two options. The first and preferable option was to see if the hotel's supplier could get us the paper goods quickly. The hotel put me in touch with their Sysco rep - Mike "something Italian." I explained what I needed, and that I needed it by about 4:30PM. He said he would call me back. I also started thinking of our back-up option - where was the closest Costco or Wal-Mart? It turned out that there is no Costco nearby, and the closest Wal-Mart was in Middletown - about a 30 minute drive away. Mike "something Italian" called me back about 15 minutes later to report that while he had the goods, he could not get a truck to us before Shabbos. These were his words - "before Shabbos." My initial reaction was, how did he know we needed this for Shabbat? I hadn't mentioned it. Then I realized - an emergency call, it's from the Nevele - a Borscht Belt hotel, they need delivery by Friday afternoon to feed several hundred people. What else could it mean?

I then thought, maybe I could go to Mike's warehouse and pick it up myself. I asked Mark the caterer whether I could get all of the paper goods in my car, and he immediately responded "no." Thinking about my friend Marco's Honda Odyssey, I asked "How about a minivan?" Again, the answer was no, so I asked Mark, exactly how much were we talking about here? He showed me a box that was about 2 feet by 2 feet by 2 feet. He said 30 or 35 of these.

Mild panic started turning to hysteria as I thought of 700 people who, although the heat was now spreading through the building, were still fairly cold and uncomfortable, and how to tell them, "Sorry - no meals during Shabbat because the dishwasher couldn't get hot enough." I figured that any effort was better than none, and I headed to my car which I prayed, given the cold temperatures, would start. It did, and I started racing towards Middletown. Along the way, I called a fellow board member, told him where I was headed, and asked him to call me if there were any updates, such as the temperature getting high enough in the dishwasher.

I ran into Wal-Mart, grabbed two shopping carts to start, and headed to the paper goods aisle. The first thing I noticed was that they had the plates, but they were made of Styrofoam. We strive as an organization to be as ecologically conscious as possible, and Styrofoam is a big no-no. Hmmm - Styrofoam or food for 700 people? That decision was easy.

I next looked for cups and cutlery, and an impending heart attack was prevented by my phone ringing. As I noticed that Wal-Mart had only about one tenth of the cutlery and cups that I would need, I got a call that they had found cups at the hotel, and that the moshgiach had said we could use our cutlery as it had been koshered properly after its last use. This was good news too because as the caterer had pointed out, there was no way that all of the plates, bowls, cups and cutlery could have ever fit into my car.

I still needed to get 8,000 plates and 700 soup bowls back to the hotel before Shabbat started (they only had 650 soup bowls so I hoped that some people would not be in the mood for soup that night). I filled my two big shopping carts until they were overflowing and navigated my way - pushing one cart and pulling another - to the cashier. Waiting on line, the older gentleman behind me showed me that he had only 3 items and asked if he could go ahead of my enormous load. My vehement "NO!!" was followed by a sincere apology that while I could not explain why at this moment, every second counted.

As the cashier scanned each item, I packed them carefully directly back in the shopping carts so that none would fall out in the parking lot as they had on my way to the cashier. Another woman passed and said, "I know - you must have a pizza joint." I replied that she was wrong, but again that there was no way I could explain right now. I made it to my car where I just started throwing packs upon packs of plates and soup bowls into every available space.

I got in the car and called our team at the hotel, asking how much time I had until Shabbat started. I was told 24 minutes. I punched the Nevele's address into my GPS which told me that the trip would take 26 minutes. As I started racing back up Route 17, only one thought was present in my mind. How was I going to explain this to the state trooper that pulls me over?

Constant monitoring of my mirrors and scanning the road ahead seemed to keep me safe from being stopped for speeding. Ten minutes away, I called the conference team and told them I needed a bucket brigade standing by to unload my car and get the goods into the kitchen. About two miles away I was back in walkie-talkie range and broadcast that I would be there momentarily. I screeched to a stop in front of the hotel and a gang of about 10 student volunteers were waiting. My car was unloaded in about 30 seconds, and the plates and bowls were brought into the kitchen. Time check: One minute until Shabbat.

I finally started breathing again. And that was the best Shabbat dinner I ever had.

Maybe People Now Will Understand What I Do For a Living

2009-01-12T08:47:00.002-05:00

It has always been a challenge to articulate to most people outside of healthcare what I do for a living. I don't find this unusual as it involves some specialized knowledge.

Today's front pages of the NY Times and Wall Street Journal and the lead story on CNN.com, however, are going a long way towards explaining at least a sizeable chunk. I work with healthcare providers in various settings (e.g. hospitals, community health centers, private practices) to achieve improved patient outcomes and organizational efficiency through technology enablement. Electronic Health Records (EHRs) are a big part of that, and I have been working with them since the early '80s.

For the most part, computers automate a business process. It may be complex, but it is still very black & white, if/then type of computing. Using computers in clinical care, however, is automating something that is part science and part art - a much more significant challenge.

With all the attention being focused now on EHRs, I am optimistic that more people will understand what I do, and that my mom will stop referring to me as a "computer jock."

My iPhone Report

2009-01-05T17:25:00.004-05:00

I have had a Blackberry for many years and loved it. The interface was intuitive, it did what I needed it to do, and was stable as a rock. Unfortunately, my firm no longer supports them and I had to choose between a Windows Mobile device or an iPhone 3G.

Being a Windows kinda guy, I was very heavily leaning towards a WinMo device (the HTC Fuze) for a host of reasons most of which are too technical for this diatribe. I ended up, however, going with an iPhone. My Blackberry experience was actually one of the reasons – I liked that I had one place to go if I had any support questions or issues on both the software and the device itself – something not available in a WinMo device. Here then, are my musings on the good and the bad.

The Good

The design – just can’t beat it
HTML e-mail – yippee!!
An excuse to hang out at the Apple store
Small form factor
Incredible web surfing experience – especially when using Wi-Fi
Free use of AT&T Wi-Fi hotspots including all Starbucks
YouTube videos that stream beautifully and with good sound
The App Store – OMG! What ingenious and useful tools, many for free, others for as little as $0.99. My favorites include preflight and Flight Update (very helpful for frequent travelers like myself), OpenTable (utilizes the GPS to find restaurants near you), and the Google app which includes voice search capability that is pretty darned accurate. Of course my kids’ favorite is iFart (iPhone therefore iFart?).
Incredibly easy to use out of the box and setting up multiple e-mail accounts was a snap
The camera is pretty darned good even if it doesn’t have a flash
Voice quality is decent, though I’d like a tad bit more volume for my aging ears
Same cables and power adapters as my iPod so I have multiples for home, office and traveling
So far, very good 3G signal in NYC and Boston – haven’t traveled elsewhere with it yet

The Bad

No physical keyboard. Although I’m better after some use, my fat fingers still can’t type as fast as I could on a BB. And the Apple e-mail function does not support using the keyboard in landscape mode the way that the Safari browser does. I did get a $0.99 app called Big KeyBoard which is a little klugey but helps.
No cut & paste function. Never realized how much I used it until it was gone.
No multiple e-mail signatures. I have a different sig for my work and personal accounts, but the iPhone only supports one sig for all messages sent from the device.
Battery life sucks – especially compared to a BB. Can’t get through a full day even with relatively light usage and keeping Wi-Fi and GPS turned off.
Ringer is not terribly loud, even at the highest setting.

All in all, it is definitely a fun toy. I got it just before the holidays so haven’t really tested it a lot from a work or business travel standpoint. I do, however, feel like I joined a club which was once relatively exclusive. Now that Wal-Mart will be selling them, I just don’t know . . .

UPDATE: Forgot to mention that it is also, essentially, an iPod providing all the audio and video capabilities of that fine device, though the videos are on a much bigger screen on the iPhone. I still keep a separate iPod because I don't want to drain the battery on the phone, I keep my entire music library and a sizable video library on the iPod (which won't fit on the iPhone) and also hook up my iPod to hotel televisions when I travel (though you can do the same with the iPhone).

I also figured out that if I create ringtones from music, the volume is much louder. Now, if you're standing anywhere near me and Sweet Home Alabama starts to blast from my pants, you'll know my phone is ringing.

Robin Williams Clip

2009-01-04T12:30:00.002-05:00

This clip of Robin Williams performing in England shortly after Obama was elected is quite good, and I especially like his reference to the fact that with George W. Bush now almost out of office, the "Reign of Error" is coming to an end.

Another Malaprop

2008-12-21T10:00:00.002-05:00

In my original post about malaprops, I indicated that Betsy is one of the more frequent contributors to keeping such things alive. This morning she came up with a new one. Regarding a discussion on whether we wanted to involve the kids in the decision as to what color to paint their room, she meant to ask if I wanted to open that can of worms. Instead, however, she asked if I wanted to open that kettle of fish.

I suppose there is a linkage there. If you wanted to catch a kettle of fish, you might open a can of worms . . .

Coming Home to the Catskills

2008-12-05T16:37:00.008-05:00

Okay, so most of you know that I'm on the board of directors of a non-profit called Limmud NY. We are an organization that fosters Jewish life and learning, primarily through a 4-day conference held every MLK weekend in the Catskills that is a festival celebrating all things Jewish.

I was asked to write a piece for use on the website, and was given some sample topics. The one that screamed out to me was about coming home to the Catskills. I have been thinking about writing just such a piece for a number of years and finally had a good excuse to do so. I thought you might enjoy it as well. Thanks for reading.

Coming Home to the Catskills
By Matthew Grob

I am old enough to remember the Catskills when it was still the Borscht Belt – a country getaway destination in the mountains for Jews from the New York City area with headliners making their rounds from hotel to hotel. I’m not old enough to remember it in the days portrayed in “Dirty Dancing” though not much changed between then and my visits in the early 1970’s to places like Grossingers, the Concord, Brown’s, the Fallsview and yes – the Nevele. We even had a bungalow one summer at Kutshers.

When my good friend and Limmud NY founding board member came back from an exploratory trip to Limmud UK to determine if it could be replicated in New York, the first thing he said that got me excited was, “It’s like youth group for adults!” Having grown up in and formed my own Jewish identity through NFTY, the Reform youth movement, I was thrilled. What he said next was almost as exciting – that it would be held in the Catskills.

A hotel filled with Jews of all ages, lots of food, tons of activities, and a sense of community. All in the snow-covered mountains a mere 90 minutes from home. Did I just describe my youth or the past four Martin Luther King weekends at Limmud NY? Both.

As I sit here getting excited about the upcoming fifth Limmud NY to be held at the Nevele, I think about the comparisons between my younger days at these hotels and Limmud NY. Some things have changed, some have not.

Back then, kippers were on the breakfast menu. Today, soy milk is an option. In the 1970’s we rushed to Simon Sez sessions with Lou Goldstein, one of the best known “tummlers” from the heyday of the Borscht Belt. Mornings at Limmud NY we get up early for yoga. In my youth, there was a seemingly unlimited number of activities from which to choose, morning through night. Limmud NY offers over 300 sessions from dawn ‘til the wee hours, sometimes 15 at a time.

Entertainment was always one of the big draws to the Borscht Belt. Even in my day, members of the “Rat Pack” still made their rounds when not performing in Vegas. Cha-cha lessons during the day could be put into practice during dance parties at night. When I was a precocious eleven, my parents allowed me to see the late comedy show – the “blue” show, so named because it featured adult themes. In the 1970’s, blue didn’t mean what it does today. Back then it meant Jackie Eagle doing shtick about the fact that the word “fart” means “to travel” in Yiddish, leading to such statements as “I farted on a bus in Brooklyn yesterday,” and “Last summer we farted through the Alps.” At Limmud NY there are no such blue shows, but we find ourselves laughing at the likes of Yisrael Campbell and Aaron Freeman. The Rat Pack has been replaced by Coolooloosh and Israeli dancing is more prevalent than the cha-cha.

The adage “the more things change, the more they stay the same” holds here as well. We still come to Limmud NY in the Catskills for the same reason. To leave our day-to-day lives behind; to ensconce ourselves in an environment that is both different yet eerily familiar; to spend Shabbat with hundreds of people, many of whom may observe it somewhat differently than we do but all unified in recognition that it is something special. We go to bed tired yet satisfied, and wake up excited and energized for the full day ahead. Oh yeah – and more food than you would normally eat.

The glory days of the Borscht Belt are a memory, but the faint flicker of hope that the region will return to its once former self is kept alive not just by rumors of gambling coming to the area, but also by almost 1,000 Jews descending upon a Catskills hotel for 4 days every year. The peak of the Borscht Belt was arguably the 1960’s. That means we’ve been wandering away for 40 years. Isn’t it time that you came home too?

Matthew Grob has been a Limmud NY volunteer, Steering Committee member, and is now Secretary of the Limmud NY Board of Directors. He has attended every Limmud NY. As a youth, Matthew ate 2 desserts at every meal in the Catskills and still does the same at Limmud NY.

House of Saddam

2008-12-02T11:53:00.002-05:00

A few months ago I participated in a market research panel that was shown HBO's upcoming "House of Saddam." We only saw parts 1 and 2, but the entire group concurred that it was a fascinating and extremely well-done mini-series. It reminded many of us of The Godfather both in terms of quality (production and acting) and subject matter. It starts this Sunday on HBO and I highly recommend it. You won't be sorry.

You're Looking Rather Dawnzerly

2008-11-29T08:49:00.004-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was speaking with Sam about mis-heard song lyrics (see fun link on the right to Kiss This Guy - a great site for such things). I was telling him that there are a number of people who think that our national anthem starts "Jose, can you see?" Sam then remembered a passage from a Ramona book he had read a few years ago in which Ramona asks what "dawnzerly" means. I myself was confused as to why Sam was bringing this up. He told me that after inquiring as to Jose's view in the first lyric, some people then hear the next line of the anthem as "By the dawnzerly light."

We have now adapted this adjective into our day-to-day language, most often by paying the compliment, "You're looking rather dawnzerly today."

Benny Lava

2008-11-29T08:40:00.002-05:00

Every so often, one comes across something so funny that it must be shared with the world.

In keeping with my recently added list of YouTube vids that my kids have turned me on to, last night friends of theirs were over and showed them what we are now calling the Benny Lava song. With almost 10 million hits on YouTube, we're obviously not alone in finding this hysterical.

This video is brilliantly funny from two perspectives. First is what the author did with the transliterated text as he heard it (watch the video - especially the introduction - and that last sentence will make sense), but second is that this Indian music video stands on its own merit in an '80's flashback sort of way. Watch the choreography. Fosse, it ain't.

I Love Amazon

2008-11-26T19:28:00.002-05:00

I started using Amazon right after it debuted however many years ago. Being the cheap bastard that I am though, I always opted for the free super saving shipping which could take up to 2 weeks. Sure the prices were good, and I loved that they seemed to "know me" offering recommendations based on what I had previously ordered or viewed, but my need for instantaneous gratification went unfulfilled.

At that time, Amazon carried primarily books, music and movies with some other odds and ends. Being a block and a half from Barnes & Noble and (before it closed) Tower Records, I usually chose to pay a bit more in exchange for the thrill of quick acquisition. It got even better when Barnes & Noble introduced free same-day delivery for Manhattan residents. Order it by 11AM and I'd have it by 7PM via courier. I was thrilled, though secretly ashamed that I wouldn't walk the block and a half to pick it up in person . . .

Then a few years ago, two things happened at Amazon. First, they started carrying just about anything on earth that could be put in a box and shipped by UPS, still at the lowest prices pretty much anywhere. Second, they introduced Amazon Prime. For an annual fee of $79, they will ship anything they carry (i.e. not things that they sell for others through their website) with free two-day shipping. Given how much I tend to rely on internet shopping, this was a phenomenal deal, and assuaged my need for speed.

In the last two days, two more things happened that have caused me to pledge my undying loyalty to Amazon. On Monday night around 8PM I ordered some DVDs from Amazon. Because of the lateness of the hour and Thanksgiving, my order was not scheduled to arrive until Friday. Imagine my surprise when they showed up Tuesday evening, having been delivered by courier.

Then today, I remembered that I needed to get some new windshield wipers for my car. Consumer Reports had just published their ratings and I was going to pick one of their recommended models. If you don't know, there aren't many auto supply shops in Manhattan so I figured I would order them on-line. Just for kicks, I checked first to see if Amazon carried them, assuming that if they did, they would be available through a third party. Imagine my surprise when I found that not only did they have them on the site, but that they were sold by Amazon and eligible for my free 2-day shipping. And like a cherry on top, the price was about 50% lower than Consumer Reports' reported street pricing.

Ooohh, I love my Amazon! Kudos Jeff Bezos!

Abby is a Rhodes Scholar!

2008-11-24T06:38:00.001-05:00

Last week, I wrote about seeing my cousins Jeff and Judy in Charlotte, NC in this post. Judy has three incredibly sweet, smart and sophisticated children - Abby, Harper and Sarah - and Jeff, ever the proud step-dad, was telling me that Abby had applied for a Rhodes scholarship.

Yesterday, I was thrilled to read that Abby is one of the 32 people in the US selected (from 769 applicants) for the prestigious honor and she'll spend the next year at Oxford University.

Way to go Abby!!!!!

Updated Right-Side Column

2008-11-22T07:24:00.004-05:00

I realized that the Elliot Spitzer, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Spears sisters news links I had in the right-side column were funny once but are no longer relevant. I have replaced them with a new section of YouTube videos that I like, many of which my kids turned me on to. Hope you enjoy them!

Trip Highlights - Week #6

2008-11-22T06:58:00.003-05:00

At long last, my six weeks of travel have come to an end. I'm freakin' tired! At least my last week was an enjoyable one. I was in Charlotte, NC for an internal firm meeting. The meetings were very good, but the real treat was getting to see my family that lives there.

I got to see my cousins Jeff, Judy, Gloria and Celia. Jeff and I are kindred spirits when it comes to road food and we went to the Penguin - a Charlotte landmark that I have never had the opportunity to visit previously. We dined on the house specialties of fried dill pickles (with ranch dressing for dipping), fried bologna sandwiches, Brunswick stew and PBR tall-boys. Okay, maybe "dining" is not quite the right word . . .

Also had good BBQ at Mert's - a southern food establishment in uptown Charlotte, which is actually downtown Charlotte, though they call their downtown uptown which gets very confusing. The BBQ was quite good, though it was western NC BBQ (red sauce) and I prefer eastern NC BBQ (vinegar-based).

Also had an outstanding meal at Blue which is a chic and trendy downtown (sorry, uptown) restaurant that is not full of itself. I had wild boar which was excellent.

And so ends my six straight weeks of travel. It's good to be home for a while. One more trip out to California in December and I'm done for the year. I guess I'll have to think up some other fun things to write about.

More Bushisms

2008-11-14T09:03:00.002-05:00

As we move closer to the end of this inane administration, the items on my calendar seem to get even better. Here is the one from Veteran's Day:

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."

-- Washington, DC; May 25, 2004

Only 67 days left!!!!

Trip Highlights - Week #5

2008-11-14T08:56:00.004-05:00

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving week. Aside from the parade, meriment and turkey, it will be the first week that I won't have to pack a bag. I'm getting pretty tired of all this traveling . . .

Was in Providence, RI this week. Didn't get to see much of the city - at least the nice parts. I was with my client the whole time and since they provide care to the poor and uninsured, their locations are in the worst parts of Providence which, I have to say, were still somewhat nice at least compared to similar areas in NYC.

I spent a lot of time with the CFO. He is a very warm, intelligent, sharp and personable guy. Much of the time I was with him, however, I was somewhat distracted as physically he resembles Harry Shearer a bit but his voice resembles Harry's a lot. Some times I felt like I was in the middle of a Simpsons episode.

Next week is Charlotte where I get to see UncleCousin Jeff and his lovely wife Judy. Then it's tryptophan city, baby!

Trip Highlights - Week #4/Part 2

2008-11-06T11:02:00.005-05:00

Leaving Copenhagen early tomorrow morning so unless something amazing happens tonight, this will be my second and last post from Denmark and will take the form of various musings about more things I have observed.

The Marriott is certainly a nice enough hotel – more upscale than most US Marriott properties, it is regarded as one of the best in town. Unfortunately, it is still very American. This was demonstrated by the room service menu (club sandwich, burgers, pizza, almost nothing particularly Danish) and breakfast which is also largely American in its offerings. I had the opportunity to try the room service menu after I went down to try to get into the election night party again (see my first post from Copenhagen). There were still several hundred people waiting to get in, and since I had to get up early to speak at the conference the next morning, I just bagged it. I couldn't stay up to watch the returns anyway as the very first ones on the East Coast wouldn't come in until 2AM local time at the earliest.

Most of the taxis are Mercedes, as is the case in much of Europe, but it’s still nice to ride in style.

There is an office building being built across the street. The billboards advertise it as Copenhagen’s premiere location for business. At the bottom, it reads “For mere information, call . . .” I guess that either they mispelled "more" or they just want to give you a little more information, but not too much.

Nicholas Negroponte, the founder of the MIT Media Lab and author of the bestselling Being Digital was one of the keynote speakers at the conference. He spoke about his One Laptop Per Child initiative which, although it has received some critical press, is still a pretty cool idea. Watch for the “give a laptop, get a laptop” campaign starting November 17th - just in time for the holidays.

When I first shaved my head about 8 years ago, I drew a lot of looks because I was one of the first. Today, that look is so ubiquitous, I just blend-in in the States, but not here. Not a lot of shiny heads in Copenhagen so I am, again, drawing looks.

Saw an Automatic External Defibrillator at the airport – the ones that are appearing in more and more public places. In the US, they are designated with a sign reading “AED”. Here, the sign says “Heartstarter.” Quite apt.

Cars pull over and stop about 3 blocks ahead of emergency vehicles here, even if there is no one else on a 3-lane road. That’s cool.

Went shopping here today, and every single salesperson in every store (they are very solicitous and I never had to go find someone) spoke to me in Danish at first. On top of that, many people have stopped me to ask for directions, including in French. Happily, I’ve been able to help many of them. I guess I blend in with the locals.

Tried another typical Danish treat – a Fledbolle. Think a gigantic Mallomar with a thinner base crust, fluffier marshmallow, and covered in dark chocolate with a selection of added flavors including pistachio, coconut, mocha, and caramel.

That’s about it. Considering taking the train to Malmo, Sweden for dinner just because I can (about a 30 minute ride) and to say that I was in another country, but have to check the return schedules – I have to wake up early tomorrow to catch my flight.

Trip Highlights - Week #4

2008-11-04T15:11:00.007-05:00

I’ve only been in Copenhagen for about 36 hours, but have observed so much, I thought I would start sharing now. Also because the US Embassy and the American Chamber of Commerce are hosting an election night party here at the Marriott tonight which was called for 8PM. I went down at 8:30 to find a line of several hundred people waiting to get in. The security guard suggested that since I’m staying here that I just go back upstairs for 30 or 60 minutes and try then. So here I sit and write . . .

There were a few things that I noticed pretty quickly upon my arrival yesterday morning. First is Danish design which is evident everywhere, and since I’m a fan it’s appreciated as well. After passing through immigration into the customs hall, I noticed that the monitor which indicates the belt on which your luggage will come out, there is also a countdown timer to let you know when that will occur. Mt flight was scheduled for a 14 minute wait, and that’s exactly how long it took. Plenty of time to look around at another unusual feature – a shop in the customs hall featuring primarily perfumes and cosmetics, still at duty free prices. The last feature I noticed in the customs hall were “smoking cabins”. These are literally little booths about double the size of a telephone booth that fit about 4 people who can’t wait until they collect their luggage and get outside to light up. This phenomenon made more sense later when I noticed that many more people smoke in Denmark than almost anywhere else I’ve ever been, including the Middle East and China.

After checking into my hotel where I was upgraded to a water-view room overlooking one of the primary canals, and taking a short nap to try and overcome jet lag, I went to get something to eat and a nice long walk around central Copenhagen. First stop was for lunch - a smorrebrod – probably the most Danish of dishes. It is an open face sandwich consisting of buttered hearty dark brown rye bread with an assortment of toppings, usually fish in nature. I had a selection of herring prepared 3 different ways with a great cup of coffee. The Danish have nothing on Starbucks when it comes to a great cup of joe, confirmed by my not seeing a single Starbucks yet.

The weather here has also been a treat. Daytime highs are usually in the upper 30's this time of year, but it hit the low 50's yesterday and today, and it is supposed to continue that way until I leave on Friday. It was sunny yesterday but drizzled a bit today while I was at the conference center, though that is supposed to be the only precipitation expected.

Walking around, one cannot help but notice the number of bicycles (An estimated 160,000 in use every day!). They are all sturdy upright touring bikes. Nothing fancy (I saw a shop selling them for between $300 and $500), nor does anyone lock them up. They just park them outside shops, along the sidewalk, or in the many bike racks. The only time I saw a lock being used was where some people locked their helmet to the bike. They obey the rules of the road very strictly and have their own lane between the sidewalk and cars on every street. In many cases the bike lane is slightly lower than the sidewalk, slightly higher than the street, lending a tiered look to it.

Copenhagen is a charming old city and very clean. No tall buildings except for a couple of modern hotels. It did not take long to realize, however, that something was wrong. Not wrong really, just unusual, and it was that it is incredibly homogenous. Everyone looks Scandinavian, or at least northern European. With the exception of one person at the conference that I’m speaking at who is from Ghana, I have not yet seen any black people, very few Asians, Middle Easterners and eastern Europeans, and certainly no Latinos. I am so used to the diversity of New York and other major cities that I travel to, that it was quite noticeable.

My walk took me along some pretty canals and then to the Stroget – a collection of interlocking streets that are for pedestrians only and where most of the shopping is located. It was there that I passed the Museum of Erotica. It wasn’t the museum I found so interesting (no – I didn’t go in), but rather that right next door was a French Connection UK store with their ubiquitous “f c u k” sign prominently placed right next to the Museum of Erotica sign. Coincidence or brilliant marketing by the clothing retailer?

Another noticeable fact is that Copenhagen is very expensive, and that’s coming from a New Yorker. $4 for a 750ml bottle of water at 7-11 (Yes, 7-11. They’re everywhere here), $30/day for internet access in my room, $5 to check your coat at the convention center. Food is a little better, but it all adds up.

I also passed a childrens’ book store and on the rack was the book shown below. That word in the title means “to travel” in German, and I guess has a similar meaning in Danish as the book is all about types of transport. Couldn’t resist taking the picture with my phone though.

Public transportation is quite good and I rode a combination of a bus and Copenhagen’s new Metro system over to the conference center last night for the opening reception. Buses are big, on time (a novelty for a New Yorker!) and drive very fast which means that if you’re standing, as I was, you really have to hold on tightly. They can move so fast because on downtown streets, they too have their own lane. It goes sidewalk, bike lane, bus lane, car lanes.

After the reception, I attended a dinner at a local restaurant, the intention being to introduce Danish food to conference participants who chose to attend (there were about 50 of us at dinner, with 2,000 attending the conference) and who were from all over Europe. The food was good, but the company better. I was at a table with a whole bunch of Norwegians from Tromso, the largest town in northern Norway which is about 2,000 km from Oslo. Although the population is only 64,000, it is also known as the Paris of the North. They were a great bunch and the 3 women I was seated closest too – Siri, Tove, and Gerd - were particularly fun. I now call them my Viking friends.

With such an international crowd, it has been quite interesting and I’ve had some brilliant conversations with colleagues from Poland, Norway, Finland, Egypt, the Netherlands and more. Everyone asked if I had already voted, and then asked for who. When I said Obama they were thrilled (one even called over her friend, saying “Hey come over here and meet this guy from New York – he voted for Obama!!!") as they truly regard McCain as George W. Bush, The Sequel. I endured several tirades about Dubbya, especially in regard to the damage he has done to America’s reputation in the international community. What can I say – I was with kindred spirits.

Well, time to try the party again. More later.

Trip Highlights - Week #3

2008-10-31T12:06:00.003-04:00

This week was an overnight in White Plains (yes, I know it's close to home but I had to be there until 9PM and back the next morning at 7AM - just easier to stay over) and Portland, ME.

All my meals were in hotels so no good food stories there. The Crowne Plaza in White Plains is a lousy hotel so all I could do is complain - which I won't.

I do love Portland, however. It is a very manageable town - I love that the airport is about a 10 minute drive from the heart of the city. The best part of my trip there was that I flew up in a prop. I haven't been in a prop in a long time, but this was a new version. Seating for 74 people and relatively quiet (for a prop). One of the things I like about props is that you really feel like your flying. Yes, we got bounced around a lot due to high winds, but there is something about it that just feels more exciting. Regional jets usually fly at higher altitudes so the combination of this being a prop and the short flight (50-60 minutes of air time) meant that we flew at 15,000 feet. Aside from the winds, the weather was brilliant and the flight provided a grand view of the New England countryside. The fall colors were much brighter a few weeks ago, but there was still plenty of orange left, mixed with a light blanket of snow at higher altitudes. It really was quite relaxing - almost a zen moment.

Still battling the remnants of a cold that started when I began my travels, so not feeling 100% but getting there. Sunday I leave for Denmark which I expect will be the most exciting of my six weeks of travel. Even the weather looks like it will cooperate with daytime highs reaching 50 rather than the usual high 30's at this time of year.

Trip Highlights - Week #2

2008-10-25T07:56:00.003-04:00

Two weeks down - four to go . . .

This week was Orlando where I spoke and exhibited at a healthcare IT conference. It was very exhausting and not terribly exciting. Had one good meal at Vito's Chop House where our head waiter and his assistant both remembered me from when I hosted a dinner there for about 25 people last February. I guess I tipped well.

There were two interesting things that I observed. One was on the day I was leaving, the hotel's directory of events listed "Food For The Poor - Dinner." Now I know that this was a dinner being held for the organizer's of this cause, but I thought it was just dripping in irony.

The second was when I landed at Newark Friday night. There is usually a lot of traffic coming into the city through the Lincoln Tunnel on Friday evenings, but when I asked the cab driver how traffic was, he said it was very good. He said that since the economic crisis started, less people were coming into the city on the weekends - I guess for many it is an expensive proposition. Bad news for NYC businesses - good news for motorists.

Off to Portland, ME next week . . .

More Bushisms

2008-10-20T08:32:00.002-04:00

I was out of town last week and came back to find these two gems on my George W. Bushisms calendar. The first one is quite timely - especially the first sentence - given the events of recent weeks, and the second is just one of those that make you shake your head in disgust.

"We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics."

-- Austin, Texas; January 4, 2001

"It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America."

-- Dakar, Senegal; July 8, 2003

Only 92 days left!

The Yuck Factor

2008-10-19T14:23:00.004-04:00

I passed a restaurant on 92nd Street and Amsterdam Avenue today called Yuki Sushi. I know it is probably supposed to be pronounced "You - key" Sushi, but the part of my brain that causes silly little grins to appear on my face couldn't help wonder how many people call it "Yuck-ee" Sushi.

Trip Highlights - Week #1

2008-10-18T12:29:00.006-04:00

I started a six-week stretch of travel this week. Some of it is grueling, but at least I am home most weekends and going to some interesting places. I decided that one of the ways to relieve the stress would be to create a blog entry for each week listing any interesting experiences - good or bad, culinary or otherwise.

This week was San Francisco. I love SF, but I also had a terrible head cold which, on top of a significant workload, limited any leisure time. There was really nothing of interest that happened. Flights were on time and incident-free. No crazy cab drivers. Kind of boring from that perspective, so I thought I would write about food.

My client in SF is located at the crossroads of North Beach and Chinatown, and my hotel was a short walk away sandwiched between Chinatown and the Financial District - both locations making for some outstanding local dining. I had a business dinner at Rose Pistola which is one of my faves, introduced to me by my friend Meryl back when she lived there. Also had an opportunity to grab a sandwich from Molinari's - a true Italian deli in North Beach. Fresh home-made mozzarella, prosciutto, roasted peppers on semolina bread with pesto spread - yum. Lastly, I grabbed food to go from R&G Lounge while I worked and watched the third debate. R&G is one of the larger Chinese restaurants and with a very non-descript exterior and its location on the edge of Chinatown, it had not occurred to me to try it. My client's CEO, however, grew up in SF's Chinatown and recommended it. It was excellent, though I suggest dining in with a group and sampling the seafood specialties.

Next week is Orlando. Not exactly thrill-city if you're there on business. Let's see what kind of trouble I can get into . . .

Time Warner's Cognitive Dissonance

2008-10-18T12:21:00.006-04:00

We have Time Warner Cable for both television and internet access. Their service has never been good and though we recently experienced a stretch of about two years with relatively few problems, we have experienced 2 major outages of signal into our home in the past 2 weeks. One lasted 36 hours and another over 12 hours. During the 36 hour outage, they apparently started working on resolving the problem one evening, stopped, and then did not start again until the next afternoon. Their response about this when I called to check the status of the problem was that "We don't work at night."

Approximately 3 hours after the most recent 12 hour outage, I received a call from Time Warner extending me a special offer to switch my phone service to them as well. I refrained from both cursing and maniacal laughter, and explained my recent experience to the rep on the telephone, adding "Since Verizon works at night, I think I'll stick with them for my home phone service." The rep paused, and then asked again whether I was interested in a special offer. Was she deaf?

UPDATE: So a few hours after I posted the above entry, I went through the mail and opened my bill from Time Warner to find that they had not credited me for the first outage which took place several days before the bill was issued. I called Time Warner and after about 10 minutes combined hold and representative research time, the rep issued the appropriate credit. She then asked me if I would like a special offer to switch to their phone service. There was silence on my end for a few moments before I said, "Did you hear nothing I just said about my service being out for 2 days, and again just the other day?"

Mamma mia . . .

Sophisticated Ladies

2008-10-18T12:17:00.002-04:00

I was having lunch today with 8-year old Molly and her best friend, Hannah. They were chatting about a classmate's recent birthday party at a theme restaurant called "Mars 2112." They agreed that while it was a fun place, the food was "yucky." Hannah then added, "Well, it only scored a 12 for food in Zagat's." That an eight year old knew this was only slightly more amazing than the fact that both Hannah and Molly know that the top score is a 30, thus confirming the yuck factor of the food.

These are real city girls.

Cathy Mallard

2008-09-29T08:40:00.002-04:00

When I was employed at NYU Medical Center, I had the pleasure of working with a Director of Nursing named Cathy Mallard. It’s not that Cathy was so likable – she actually ruffled a lot of feathers there – but I enjoyed her company and working with her because she was a very smart no-nonsense person who did not suffer fools quietly. We got along because we both had a lot of vision for how technology could enable and improve clinical practice, and because we were both Upper West Siders. When Cathy left NYU to go to the Visiting Nurse Service of New York, we continued to stay in touch. At VNSNY, Cathy developed, launched and managed one of the most innovative programs in home care which equipped visiting nurses with mobile computing devices on which they could download the schedule of patients they were seeing that day, look up information on their patients as well as capture information during their visits, and transmit it back to the office. This was about 15 years ago – long before such technology was in the hands of clinicians, no less those in the home care setting or on mobile devices which they had to have specially made. It was a model for other home care agencies around the country.

I last saw Cathy at a conference in April and she looked ill. She told me that she had lymphoma and although it was under control at the moment, the prognosis was not great.

Cathy passed away this weekend at the young age of 61. I am particularly struck and sad because aside from the fact that I did like and respect her a lot, I feel that especially in these times of extreme stupidity, the world has lost one more smart person who could easily see through the BS. Rest in peace Cathy.

Today's Bushism

2008-09-29T08:37:00.002-04:00

These days I find myself using the expression "In these days of extreme stupidity . . ." a lot, especially in regard to Washington and the election. How convenient then, that this should be this past Friday's entry from my George W. Bushisms calendar:

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."

-- Washington, D.C.; April 10, 2002

Only 113 days left!!!

Episcopalians

2008-09-06T20:37:00.002-04:00

We were having a conversation at the dinner table the other night about different religions. I want to make sure that both my kids have a healthy knowledge of and respect for all the world's religions.

We were talking about different sects of Christianity when 10-year old Sammy asked, "What about the Episcopals?"

The thing is, having only ever read the word and never having heard it pronounced, what came out of his mouth was "What about the Eppy-scope-als?"

It took us a minute to figure out what he was talking about. My initial thought was that he was referring to some sort of medical instrument. "Mrs. Jones, we just got the test results back and it looks like we will need to perform an epi-scopal procedure."

I just hope that he doesn't think that those who follow the Pope are overdosing on felines ("Cat-holics." Get it?).

The End Is Near

2008-08-25T09:22:00.001-04:00

As I prepared to post yet another entry from my "George W. Bushisms" calendar, it occurred to me that with the Democratic convention starting today, the reign of stupidity is finally nearing an end. It will surely be a sad day for the comedy biz when W finally exits office.

"If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."

-- Washington, D.C.; December 18, 2002

Only 148 days left!

Cowbell!!!

2008-08-12T16:10:00.003-04:00

Regarding previous posts about Hulu, they have now added a link to the SNL More Cowbell sketch with Christopher Walken on Will Ferrell's Funny Or Die site (see the update at the bottom of my original post here). The quality of the clip is not great and not sure why they didn't post a high-quality version directly on Hulu. Perhaps Ferrell has rights to it but no matter - at least it is available for our viewing pleasure.

If You Ever Need A Dentist in Bloomington, MN . . .

2008-08-12T15:03:00.003-04:00

I am in Bloomington, Minneosta on business. It is an internal firm meeting and since my company has a headquarters office here, we are at the beautiful Sheraton Bloomington (Read that sarcastically. It used to be a Radisson which should tell you something about the quality).

This morning I lost a very old filling in my mouth. I mean old, like when I was 8-years-old old. I called my dentist in New York, Samuel Gold. Dr. Gold is the dentist for my whole family and we love him. He is earnest, professional, very careful and considerate, and an all around nice guy. He told me that as long as I didn't have any pain or swelling I should just go to a drugstore and get something called DenTemp which is a temporary filling material and then come see him when I am back in town next week.

Now as a New Yorker who is used to being able to get anything he needs 24/7 and within walking distance, this morning's adventure was a little hard to swallow. Let me put it this way. A $35 roundtrip taxi fare to Walgreens (including a 5 minute wait while I was in the store) enabled me to get the $4.49 package of DenTemp.

Anyway, the DenTemp did not take. Although I was in no pain, I was concerned about infection in the big jagged hole in my jaw, so I went to my dental insurer's website and found a nearby dentist. Let me now clarify nearby. I mean really nearby. I mean I could see the building from my hotel room window. They could see me in an hour.

Let me tell you more about what I mean by "nearby". I would guess that my destination was no more than a quarter of a mile away as the crow flies. The problem was that I was at one corner of an expressway intersection and the dentist's office was at the diagnoally opposite corner. It would mean crossing two expressways which, in Minnesota, is just not done on foot. Aside from the fact that I could see absolutely no sidewalks or pedestrian walkways, everyone I asked at the hotel kind of laughed at my when I suggested walking.

$8 each way between the hotel and the dentist's office. And I had to wait at the dentist's office because they had to call for a cab for the return trip. I guess they don't just cruise around Bloomington looking for fares.

As you might imagine, all of this was a little much for a city boy.

The silver lining in all of this was my brief but utterly enjoyable experience at the dentist's office. First of all, when making the appointment, the office manager was incredibly pleasant and professional. She took a modicum of information and asked me to come 20 minutes early to fill out paperwork. When I arrived at their very nicely decorated offices 30 minutes early, I filled out my paperwork and had just laid down the pen when I was called to be taken into the treatment room.

Yes. I was seen before my appointment time. No, that's not a typo.

The very nice and efficient dental assistant took a quick look and verified my history. The also very nice dentist then came in immediately and in short order sized up the situation. He told me that he could put in a temporary filling but because of the available tooth material, it would not likely hold any much better than the DenTemp. He said he could do the restoration work, but it would be the same thing my own dentist would do next week and he didn't think there was any danger in leaving it exposed until then - just keep it clean.

Maybe it's the cynical New Yorker in me, but I was somewhat surprised that he did not indicate the need to perform any work. What then really surprised me was that there was no charge for the visit.

No charge! I have insurance so it wouldn't have been money out of my pocket and yes, I was only in the chair for all of about 5 minutes, but no charge? Again, it's the cynical New Yorker in me that caused the most surprise.

They gave me a copy of the dentist's notes to give to my dentist and the last notation was "Nice patient" with a smiley face. Gosh darn, gee whiz they were nice folks! Maybe there's something to this Minnesota living.

Anyway, if you are ever in Bloomington, MN and find the need for dental care, I would highly recommend paying a visit to Dr. Greg Walling and the fine folks at Metro Dentalcare. You will thank me and so will your teeth.

UPDATE: If you'd like a great dentist in New York, feel free to give our Dr. Gold a call. His office is located at 185 West End Ave (69th St.) and can be reached at 212-787-8183 or by e-mail at DRSHGOLD@aol.com.

The Power of the Internet

2008-08-08T09:42:00.000-04:00

There have been many arguments regarding whether the Internet brings people together or whether it keeps people apart by substituting electronic interaction for interpersonal. I can make the argument for both sides, but yesterday it provided a meaningful example of how it brings people together.

We were on vacation in Mexico a few weeks ago. We had gone on a catamaran snorkeling trip at a reef off the coast of the Yucatan peninsula. As we weighed anchor and prepared to head back to the marina, we witnessed a very unfortunate incident at another catamaran anchored nearby. One of the snorkelers from that catamaran had returned to the vessel ahead of the others, presumably because he wasn’t feeling well, and suffered a heart attack just as he reached the ship. We watched valiant rescue efforts by the boat’s crew as well as a paramedic onboard our ship who dove into the sea and swam to the other boat to assist, and that of a speed boat that was dispatched very quickly from the marina. The victim was transported by the speedboat back to the marina, while attempts at resuscitation continued onboard followed by additional efforts by paramedics back at the dock. As we sailed into the marina, we watched as it was determined by the police and EMS teams that the resuscitation efforts were unsuccessful and the victim was draped in a sheet. Needless to say, it was a very somber and sobering event.

We had no information regarding the victim, but when we returned to New York I used Google News to find out that the victim was a man in his 30’s from Omaha on his honeymoon. His wife had remained with the rest of the snorkelers and was not even aware of what had transpired until the group returned to the catamaran. It was a very sad story to begin with, made all the more so since the victim had apparently not had an easy life and his new marriage marked a turning point where everything seemed to finally be coming together and he was happier than he had ever been in his life.

The news story that I had found on the site for Southwest Iowa news permitted users to leave comments. I left a comment indicating that we had witnessed the incident, conveyed our condolences to the victim’s family noting that I lost both my father and best friend to untimely heart attacks, and praised the crew of the ship, the staff at the marina, and the local authorities for their speedy and valiant though unsuccessful efforts. The comment showed my name and location.

Again, through the power of the internet and search engines, I received an e-mail from the victim’s sister yesterday asking if she had reached the Matthew Grob who had left the comment on the news site. We ended up speaking on the phone and she conveyed to me how much my comments had meant to her, her widowed sister-in-law, and the rest of their family. Being able to speak with me apparently brought a great deal of comfort, especially to their mother.

I remember how much it meant that a few months after my father’s death, we were able to meet with someone who had been with him when he died. We didn’t know this man, but just speaking with him brought a great degree of comfort and I was so pleased yesterday to have provided a similar service to another family.

You can say a lot about the power of the Internet, both good and bad. I am happy to report that at least yesterday, it was certainly a positive force in our lives.

More Bushisms

2008-07-01T10:08:00.002-04:00

Now I know why stand-up comics and comedy writers are sad that there are term limits . . .

"They have miscalculated me as a leader."

-- Westminster, California;

September 13, 2000

"I'm the master of low expectations."

-- Aboard Air Force One;

June 4, 2003

Only 203 days left!!!

Hulu Updated with Cork Soakers!

2008-06-23T05:34:00.002-04:00

I was showing Hulu to my brother Doug and nephew Howie when they were visiting this past weekend, and found that NBC had finally added the Cork Soaker sketch. To understand what I'm talking about, see my original post here and scroll to the bottom for the update.

The Bagel Theory

2008-06-20T12:35:00.003-04:00

My cousin Rob in Dallas sent this to me. Although it is making it's way around the internet, I thought it important to track down the original author - Jessica Levine Kupferberg - and have provided some bio info at the end as well as a link to the original post. I have certainly done my share of "bageling" and hope you enjoy the story!

The Beginning of Bageling

It all started when my friend Doodie Miller-- who wears a kippah -- was back in college and suffering through a tedious lecture. As the professor droned on, a previously-unknown young woman leaned over and whispered in his ear: "This class is as boring as my Zayde's seder."

You see, the woman knew that she did not "look" Jewish, nor did she wear any identifying signs like a Star of David. So foregoing the awkward declaration, "I'm Jewish," the girl devised a more nuanced -- and frankly, cuter -- way of heralding her heritage.

This incident launched a hypothesis which would henceforth be known as the Bagel Theory.
The Bagel Theory stands for the principle that we Jews, regardless of how observant or affiliated we are, have a powerful need to connect with one another. To that end, we find ways to "bagel" each other -- basically, to "out" ourselves to fellow Jews.

There are two ways to bagel. The brave or simply unimaginative will tell you straight out that they are Jewish (a plain bagel). But the more creative will concoct subtler and even sublime ways to let you know that they, too, are in the know. (These bagels are often the best; like their doughy counterparts, cultural bagels are more flavorful when there is more to chew on.)

Bageled at Boggle

I suspect that Jews have been bageling even before real bagels were invented. And while my husband and I may not have invented bageling, we do seem to have a steady diet of bagel encounters.

An early bagel favorite occurred when my kippah-wearing husband and I were dating, and we spent a Saturday evening at a funky coffee house with friends. We engaged in a few boisterous rounds of Boggle, the game where you must quickly make words out of jumbled lettered cubes. Observing our fun, a couple of college students at a nearby table asked if they could play too. After we rattled the tray and furiously scribbled our words, it was time to read our lists aloud. One of the students, who sported a rasta hat and goatee, proudly listed the word "yad." Unsuspecting, we inquired, "What's a yad?" He said with a smirk, "You know, that pointer you read the Torah with." Yes, we were bageled at Boggle.

On our honeymoon in Rome, we were standing at the top of the Spanish steps next to a middle-aged couple holding a map. The husband piped up in an obvious voice, "I wonder where the synagogue is." My husband and I exchanged a knowing look at this classic Roman bagel and proceeded to strike up a conversation with this lovely couple from Chicago. After we took them to the synagogue, they asked to join us at the kosher pizza shop. As we savored the cheeseless arugula and shaved beef pizza -- to this day the best pizza I have ever had -- this non-religious couple marveled at traveling kosher and declared they would do so in the future. A satisfying bagel to be sure.

Holy Bagel

In the years since, our bagel encounters have become precious souvenirs, yiddishe knick-knacks from our family adventures in smaller Jewish communities. Like the time the little boy at the Coffee Bean in Pasadena, California, walked up to my husband, pulled out a mezuzah from around his neck, smiled and ran away. (A non-verbal bagel!) Or our day trip to the pier in San Clemente, California when an impish girl in cornrows and bikini scampered over to say "Good Shabbos."

We have been bageled waiting at airline ticket counters, in elevators, at the supermarket checkout. And I myself have been known to bagel when the situation calls for it, like the time I asked the chassid seated a few rows up on an airplane if I could borrow a siddur.
On a recent trip abroad, however, we did not get bageled even once. That was in Israel where, thankfully, there is just no need.

Ultimately, why do we feel this need to bagel? Does it stem from our shared patriarchs, our pedigree of discrimination and isolation, a common love of latkes or just the human predisposition to be cliquey? I maintain it is something more. Our sages say that all Jews were originally one interconnected soul which stood in unison at Mount Sinai to receive the Torah. Now scattered across the Earth, as we encounter each other's Jewish souls, we recognize and reconnect with a piece of our divine selves. The bagel may have a hole, but we bagel in a quest to feel whole.

So the next time a sweaty stranger at the gym says to you, "I haven't been this thirsty since Yom Kippur," smile. You've just been bageled -- adding another link in the Jewish circle of connection.

Jessica Levine Kupferberg was born and raised in Los Angeles. She has a BA in English from UCLA and a law degree from the USC. A recovering lawyer, she is now a full-time wife and mother and a founder of SCY High, the Southern California Yeshiva High School, located in La Jolla, California, where she resides with her husband and children.

Click here to read the original post on Aish.com

Film Review

2008-06-12T08:41:00.002-04:00

Once I see the movie, I'm not sure which I will remember as being funnier - "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" itself, or the opening line of A.O. Scott's review in the N.Y. Times (06/06/08):

"Let me blunt: "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" is the finest post-Zionist action-hairdressing sex comedy I have ever seen."

When The Chips Are Down . . .

2008-06-02T13:31:00.002-04:00

The guy who invented the Pringles potato chip canning system has died. He was cremated. Some of his ashes have been buried in a Pringles can. Don't believe me? Check it out here.

Crocs a Crock? A Mild Rant

2008-06-02T08:50:00.008-04:00

Joining millions of other fans around the world, I own two pairs of Crocs and my children each own Crocs as well. For those of you living in a cave, Crocs are essentially rubber/plastic beach footwear available in a wide variety of fiesta-inspired colors. They are anti-microbial, open and airy, easily cared for, and started out with one style a few years ago. They now come in dozens of styles and colors for multiple purposes and also sport "jibbitz" - little iconographic stubs that you can insert into the holes in the tops of Crocs to personalize yours (I keep calling them "giblets").

I usually don't like trendy things for the reason alone that they are trendy, yet I do admire functional items at a reasonable price. Consequently I am a big fan of Crocs, but my respect came down a notch yesterday. A company-owned Crocs store opened in my neighborhood and we went to check it out. Very trendy location, trendy store design, trendy music playing - all of which I can forgive them for. Of course the bins with the jibbitz were swarmed by children like bees to a hive. What I found absolutely annoying was that not a single item in the store had a price on it.

We had come for one specific item for which we happened to know the price, but the lack of pricing on other items dissuaded our efforts to shop for additional purchases. When we asked the fellow at the register why nothing was priced, he said it was intended to have customers initiate a dialog with store employees by asking how much things were.

Who's brilliant marketing strategy was this? I can understand if you have lots of staff roaming the store to answer such questions. Instead, however, there were only the people at the registers who were constantly being interrupted by customers asking about pricing. Not only was this counter-productive in terms of "establishing a dialog," but it took 2-3 times as long to pay for our purchase as the guy who was checking us out always had to think about his respnse to price inquiries, and we felt like he was guessing half the time. "How much are these strapless pump Crocs?" "Uhhh, fifty-five, ninety-five?"

What is even more interesting, is that when Crocs are sold in other retail stores, the MSRP is pre-printed on the Crocs-affixed tags. This means that the company actually had to make up special tags just for the company stores that omit the price.

Guys. Stick with the original image of beach-bums around the world adorning their feet with your product. I don't mind if you expand the original line either, and whoever thought up jibbitz should get a prize. But don't get so full of yourself in the retail environment.

Weekend Bushisms

2008-06-02T08:47:00.001-04:00

Came back to the office to find these two delightful new George W. Bushisms from Saturday and Sunday. Enjoy!

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

--As quoted by Reuters; May 5, 2000

"I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed by the atmosphere. And they say 'Man, you're looking pretty.' "

--Washington, D.C.; November 4, 2004

Only 232 days left!!!

Are Malaprops Heriditary?

2008-05-04T13:25:00.004-04:00

Webster's defines a malaprop as "the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context."

My wife Betsy is a veritable fount of malaprops, her most famous one being when we had just had an argument and she wished to make peace. She meant to say that she was offering me an olive branch, but instead offered me a fig leaf. My response was to look down to see why I might be in need of one (Was something showing that shouldn't be?) and that particular malaprop was sealed in our memories forever.

Today, Sammy and I were having some father-son time which included lunch out. Sammy was asking about dessert and when I told him that maybe we would get some ice cream on our way home, he wanted to ask if we could stop at Cold Stone Creamery. What came out of his mouth, however, was "Dad, can we please stop at Stone Cold Bakery?"

Is that where they sell day-old bread? Or are they perpetually out of hot cross buns?

I guess it runs in the family.

Recent Bushism Calendar Entries

2008-05-01T10:17:00.004-04:00

Some recent tasty morsels from my George W. Bushisms Calendar:

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."

-- In response to a question about whether

he wished he could take back any of his

answers in the first debate; Reynoldsburg,

Ohio; October 4, 2000

"The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany."

-- Washington, D.C.; May 5, 2006

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"

-- Answering a question about why he hasn't

spent more time in New Hampshire;

The New York Times; October 23, 1999

Only 264 days left!!!

Meryl Streep Tribute

2008-04-15T09:12:00.004-04:00

Every year, the Film Society of Lincoln Center of which we are members, holds a gala tribute honoring someone in film. We have attended many of these over the years, with honorees such as Martin Scorcese, Clint Eastwood, and Dustin Hoffman. Last night - the Film Society's 30th gala tribute - honored Meryl Streep.

The program is a mix of film clips and tributes from colleagues in the industry, winding up with a speech by the honoree. Past galas have ranged from ho-hum (Dustin Hoffman - you got the impression that no one really likes him) to excellent (Martin Scorcese).

Last night's blew them all away. The clips demonstrated the wide range and phenomenal talent of the honoree, but it was the speeches that really told the tale of a consummate professional who is just a darned nice, funny, and all around great person.

Of course, it was a treat to be seated in the audience, listening to accolades being heaped upon Ms. Streep by Robert Redford, Robert DeNiro, Christopher Walken, Jonathan Demme, Mike Nichols, Stanley Tucci, Uma Thurman, Garrison Keillor and Amy Adams. DeNiro, who at the Scorcese tribute demonstrated that the rumors regarding his incredible shyness and discomfort with public speaking are quite true, was actually the funniest presenter last night. Although he read verbatim from a stack of index cards, rarely looking up or making any eye contact with the audience, he was hysterically funny. All of the presenters were quite humorous and clearly spoke from the heart.

The final clip was a preview from the soon to be released Mamma Mia! with Streep singing "The Winner Takes It All" proving that she can add belting out a musical number to her impressive list of talents.

The program notes made mention of the fact that as opposed to other leading ladies that have come before her, Streep has remained in the spotlight solely for her professional work. She has never been involved in a scandal or started a ruckus. At the end, Ms. Streep spoke extemporaneously and quite personally for about 10 or 15 minutes, and we were left with the distinct impression that every sincere word spoken by those who paid tribute to her was deserved. She truly is one of film's treasures and apparently someone you would want as a friend.

Hulu

2008-04-05T09:17:00.009-04:00

I've been reading a lot recently about Hulu and decided to check it out. I can definitely see how these premium quality clips would be addictive.

I was thrilled to find a selection of hundreds of SNL clips dating back to the first season, including two of my all-time favorites: Celebrity Jeopardy with French Stewart, Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery; and the NPR Delicious Dish Holiday Show with Alec Baldwin (ranked by E! as the second funniest SNL sketch ever).

In recent years, SNL has also been exceptionally good at sneaking things past the censors. While I couldn't find the Cork Soakers sketch on Hulu, I did find Colonel Angus and the Sofa King commercial. When I saw this last one on television live, it took me almost til the end of the sketch to figure out the gag which then had me ROTFL.

(Luckily, I did find Cork Soakers here and while I was looking for it, also found More Cowbell here. Note to NBC and Hulu - make high quality vids of these two classics available.)

Lastly, Hulu also features the uncensored version of the SNL digital short, D**k in a Box and for those of a certain age (as young'ns just might not appreciate it), Alec Baldwin in SNL's The Tony Bennett Show with guest Anthony Benedetto.

Enjoy!

UPDATED!!! They must have listened to me as the Cork Soaker sketch is now available on Hulu. Now, how about More Cowbell guys?

UPDATED!!! More Cowbell is now available on Will Ferrell's Funny Or Die site here!

The Democratic Response to Sarah Silverman's Video

2008-04-03T18:04:00.003-04:00

So if you enjoyed the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon/Jimmy Kimmel/Ben Affleck videos (see original post here), I'm sure you'll enjoy this very funny election year version (Warning: Parental Discretion Advised).

And many thanks to Cousin Rob in Dallas for bringing it to my attention!

Keep It In Your Pants Gov!

2008-03-25T12:35:00.008-04:00

It was bad enough when former Governor Eliot Spitzer was caught utilizing the services of a prostitute recently in Washington, leading to his resignation and an estimate that he had spent $80,000 pursuing his extra-curriucular activities.

Then at his installation last week, former Lieutenant-Governor - now Governor David Paterson revealed that he had extra-marital affairs several years ago when his marriage was in shaky condition. I appreciated his honesty, and can even understand the impetus.

Yesterday, Paterson revealed that he used cocaine and marijuana when he was younger. That too, I can deal with (at least he didn't say he didn't inhale . . .)

Now it appears that Paterson and a woman identified as Lila Kirton - Paterson's former lover and an employee in the governor's office - went to South Carolina last October to work on Hilary Clinton's campaign and stayed in the same hotel - a trip that was billed to Paterson's state credit card, even though her job responsibilities do not apparently include such work (she is claiming that she did this on her personal time). On top of all this, an investigation has apparently uncovered that Paterson stayed in a downtown Albany hotel 13 times in the past 15 months even though he has a home 20 minutes away and Ms. Kirton used a state credit card to stay in an Albany hotel 17 times during the same period. Paterson's representative indicated that he needed to be close to the capitol for early morning meetings. See the Albany Times Union story here.

Maybe a mountain is being made out of a mole hill. Or maybe there is, in fact, a mountain there in the middle of Albany. Do I sense another change in leadership coming down the road for New York State? Perhaps before the next governor is installed, a more in-depth background check is in order to make sure this doesn't happen again. Or perhaps this is all helping the economy by providing long beleagured stand-up comics and humorists with enough fodder to keep them gainfully employed for the next several years.

Either way, David Paterson has now earned his very own gossippy news ticker on the right, joining Eliot, Britney, Lindsay and Paris. Joe Bruno - are you due up next?

UPDATE: The Albany Times Union amends its news story here.

UPDATE: Since this story seems to have disappeared from the news, I am removing our new gov from the news ticker.

Barber Shop

2008-03-21T13:40:00.005-04:00

There is a barber shop near my office that advertises via a guy that walks up and down Sixth Avenue with a sandwich-board sign handing out leaflets.

Every time I see this guy, he tries to hand me a leaflet.

At this point it would probably help to know, if you don't already, that I have a shaved head. This is what makes this so perplexing to me. The people who hand out leaflets for nail salons generally don't hand them to men, and the guys handing out leaflets for strip clubs generally don't hand them out to women.

You would think that this guy just might make the connection that the barber shop doesn't really have anything to offer me.

Or maybe I should take the approach that my friend Avi, an Israeli artist and educator, took when he couldn't get Macy's to stop clogging his small mailbox by sending him leaflets for women's clothing and cosmetics. He finally called them up and engaged a telephone sales rep for over 20 minutes discussing which shades of rouge and eyeliner would look best on him. They stopped sending him flyers.

Maybe I'll go in, sit in the chair, and ask for just a little bit off the top.

Double Bushisms

2008-03-17T09:02:00.005-04:00

Was away from the office for a couple of days and came back to read the following two goodies from my George W. Bushisms calendar:

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."

-- Speaking during "Perserverance Month"

at Fairgrounds Elementary School in

Nashua, New Hampshire; as quoted in the

Los Angeles Times; January 28, 2000

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."

-- Greece, New York; May 24, 2005

I should really give credit where credit is due. The calendar that I quote here was compiled by Jacob Weisberg and is co-published by Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC and Simon & Schuster. I am hoping that they publish again next year and suggest that you pick it up as it has guaranteed me a smile to start each of my days!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! Only 309 days left!

Eliot Spitzer

2008-03-10T19:59:00.003-04:00

As an avid supporter and someone who voted for Eliot Spitzer for governor of New York, I truly feel f@cked.

Oh wait a minute. He's the who one got f@cked.

And as there will surely be a free for all in the press, I'm temporarily adding an Eliot Spitzer news ticker in the column to the right. He now has the dubious honor of joining the gossipy ranks of Britney, Lindsay and Paris.

Matt, Sarah, Jimmy and Ben

2008-03-06T09:09:00.004-05:00

Just in case you're one of the 16 people who have not yet seen Sarah Silverman's video that she made for boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel, check it out here. Warning: Parental Discretion Advised!

And for the rest of you, have you seen Jimmy Kimmel's response video that he ran last week on his post-Oscar show? Check that one out here. Again - Warning: Parental Discretion Advised.

I am torn as to which one I like best. The first one certainly wins on originality and concept, but the response wins hands down on gags and cameos.

Note: While the You Tube version links above are slightly longer as they include chit-chat intros to the videos, better quality videos with better sound are available on the ABC site here.

Now that's quality television programming!

Today's Bushism - Revisionist History?

2008-03-03T13:02:00.002-05:00

An entry from last week in my George W. Bushism's calendar. Was he asleep in history class? If we drop nukes on our friends, imagine what we do to our enemies . . .

"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."

-- Tokyo, Japan; February 18, 2002

Only 330 days left . . .

The Power of The Blog

2008-02-27T23:08:00.006-05:00

First some context - a little lengthy but there's a funny story in it.

One of the most popular blogs in the health IT industry is HIStalk (50,000 visitors and 90,000 views a month). Written anonymously by "Tim", HIStalk covers the industry with humor, insight, and very smart writing. As an industry veteran I occasionally give Tim stories of interest and commentary. Tim usually posts such items as being submitted by pseudonyms drawn from popular culture. It is very satisfying to see my input in print.

I am in Orlando speaking and exhibiting at the health IT industry's biggest conference and trade show - 28,400 attendees and over 900 exhibitors. Tim is here too - incognito - and blogging daily. One of the highlights of Tim's blog is that he reports on interesting products and marketing ideas from the show floor.

On Monday, I was grabbing a bite of lunch in the very crowded food court at the Orange County Convention Center. I sat down with a gentleman whom I discovered was a former partner at Arthur Andersen and was at the show helping his son who had recently started a company called Seal Shield. They make anti-bacterial and submersible computer keyboards and mice. Hospital-acquired infections are, unfortunately, quite common and keyboards are a prime source of cross-contamination. The same is true in schools, especially in light of recent MRSA outbreaks (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) that have required extensive decontamination. A submersible keyboard is somewhat of a holy grail because you can literally throw it in the dishwasher to decontaminate it and then re-use it.

I stopped by their booth which was very near ours and thought the fact that they actually had a dishwasher there was pretty nifty. Their guerrilla marketing, however, was evident when I went to the mens room. At the bottom of each urinal was a blue plastic strainer/splash-guard that said "Your keyboard has 400 times more bacteria than this urinal. Visit Seal Shield at booth . . ." It was hysterical, and even funnier was listening to other men stepping up to the urinal and within a few seconds start laughing.

As I knew that Tim was covering the show I emailed him with the Seal Shield story including the urinals on Monday. Tim blogged about it the following morning quoting me directly. The Seal Shield guys were thrilled and traffic at their booth was booming.

Apparently, Seal Shield's competitors read the blog as well and complained to show management who made Seal Shield remove the screens from the urinals later that day (I really don't want to know how they removed them . . .). I reported this to Tim as well.

As a fan of quirky marketing and a champion of the "little guy", Tim - who had apparently visited the booth on his own at this point - ran a second story the next morning, chastising the competition for sour grapes, and extolling the virtues of Seal Shield even more including a link to their website.

You guessed it. Booth traffic was up even more for these guys.

Ahhh, the power of the blog. I'm glad it helped out the guys at Seal Shield.

"Political" Trivia

2008-02-21T14:05:00.002-05:00

I've mentioned in a previous post that the building I work in has video screens in the elevators that display trivia and news items alongside ads to keep one entertained during the ride. Today, they were running political trivia items. I found the juxtaposition of these two separate items to be interesting:

Barack Obama enrolled in Harvard Law School at the age of 27 and was the first black elected to head the Harvard Law Review.

After 22 years in the Navy, John McCain retired from the military and moved to Phoenix where he worked doing PR for a beer distributor.

Do I sense a political slant here?

A New Twist on Announcements

2008-02-17T17:01:00.002-05:00

We went to see a performance today by the 7 Fingers called "Traces" at the New Victory Theater. It was a tremendous multi-media show that combined modern dance, circus arts, the Harlem Globetrotters and the Marx Brothers.

What was more interesting, however, were the announcements that were made before the show started. In complete blackness with the house lights down, a deep and very serious voice made the following announcements over the P.A. system:

"Please remember to turn your cell phone ringers on. You never know who may be trying to reach you.

Please use flash photography so that you can subject the performers to perilous danger.

Food and drink are permitted in all areas of the theater as the staff of the New Victory love to spend the hour after the show cleaning up.

Please use video recorders so that you can share the precious memories of this performance with your loved ones for ever and ever.

Feel free to use the restrooms at any time. You will never know what it is you missed.

There are plenty of emergency exits as you never know what may happen."

Now why didn't I ever think of doing this?

What's In A Name

2008-02-16T21:49:00.003-05:00

About 15 years ago there was a Thai restaurant on Eighth Avenue and 55th Street. The name was Siam Inn or King of Siam or something of the sort. Like many Thai restaurants there was a dish on the menu that usually appears as Mee Krob. In this particular restaurant, it was listed as "Mee Grob" and seeing this prompted me to engage the waitress in, at least what I thought was, a funny interchange.

Waitress: "Would you like to order?"
Me: "Yes, but me Grob."
Waitress: "You like Mee Grob?"
Me: (Pointing to myself) "No, ME Grob."
Waitress: "You want Mee Grob?"
Me: Pulling out my drivers' license, pointing to my picture and then pointing to my name, "You see - ME Grob!"
Waitress: Feigning understanding, "Ohhh. I see. . . You want Mee Grob?"

She never got it and I was probably a lot more amused than the friends with whom I was dining. The reason I mention this is because I passed the same storefront today and it is no longer a Thai restaurant, but a bar and restaurant called (drumroll, please) "Matt's Grill."

I think I'll have to go and repeat my performance.

Pitchers and Catchers

2008-02-15T08:44:00.002-05:00

Spring must be near as pitchers and catchers reported to camp yesterday.

And if you were thinking of something other than baseball, shame on you.

Today's Valentine's Bushism

2008-02-14T08:54:00.004-05:00

From today's George W. Bushisms calendar - particularly appropriate for Valentine's Day:

"The Bob Jones policy on interracial dating, I mean I spoke out on interracial dating. I spoke against that. I spoke out against interracial dating. I support the policy of interracial dating."

--CBS News; February 25, 2000

Can you say "waffle?" Only 341 days left!

Root Beer Rag

2008-02-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

Nine-year old Sam's musical tastes are much more sophisticated than many adults, and he really does not like most rock 'n roll - something I admit with a heavy heart (luckily Molly's tastes are closer to mine). That being said, there are some artists that Sam has come to like including Billy Joel and James Taylor.

One BJ tune in particular appeals to Sam as it is a piano instrumental - and a very tricky one at that. Root Beer Rag (from Streetlife Serenade) is a very upbeat and complex ragtime tune. In an effort to foster an interest in my music for Sam, I picked up the sheet music for him this week.

Betsy, an accomplished pianist in her own right, tried it out first and was having some trouble with it and had to play it very slowly to figure out the fingering. Sam, meanwhile, has spent just about an hour in total working on it and is starting to sound very much like Billy himself in terms of keeping the right tempo as well as the phrasing. The interesting thing is that once he figured out the notes, he has worked on it without looking at the sheet music - he is doing it by ear and from having heard the song maybe half a dozen times in total.

We always knew Sam was a talented musician, but the fact that he is working on a piece that is meaningful to me brings a huge smile of happiness and satisfaction to my face. Now if only he could make some of Billy Joel's money . . .

Out Of The Mouths of Babes

2008-02-03T14:33:00.000-05:00

I always say I'm going to catalog some of the things that come out of my children's mouths, yet I rarely get to do so. Earlier today, however, 7-year old Molly said something that still has me chuckling.

I had picked her up from a birthday party downtown and we were on the subway heading home. She was complaining almost the whole way home about being thirsty as she had not had anything to drink for several hours. She asked me to buy her a bottle of water, but I said that as we were on the subway I could not, and that once we got off the subway we would be home within a matter of minutes so she would just have to wait. I was pleased that she had turned down the soda and lemonade being served at the party (she is relatively health-conscious) but helped her to understand that she could have easily asked for a glass of water.

We were almost at the front door of our building when I asked her if the first thing she was going to do when we got to our apartment was run and drink a gallon of water. She replied, "No, first I'm going to pee. After all, I want to get my money's worth."

She slays me.

Geek Jokes

2008-01-30T14:19:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I am somewhat of a geek at heart with a strong background and belief system rooted in science and empirical research. Consequently, when I heard the following two geeky jokes from Aaron Freeman - a truly interesting and funny man - I loved them and wish to share them here with like-minded folks (there is a third joke, but it needs to be told not written so ask me about it next time you speak with me). If you don't get them, you're just not sufficiently geeky.

Joke 1:

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender prepares it and places it on the bar. The neutron asks, "What do I owe ya?" The bartender replies, "You? No charge."

Joke 2:

Three statisticians went duck hunting. As the ducks flew overhead, the first statistician stood up and fired, the shots going just behind the ducks. The second statistician stood up and fired, the shots going just in front of the ducks. The third statistician stood up and yelled, "WE GOT'EM!!"

Yuk, yuk . . .

The Blues About The Blues

2008-01-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

I know that all of America voted on it in a democratic process, and they seem to have permeated everyday life, but I just can't get used to blue M&Ms being part of the regular mix. It is an abomination before whatever deity you pray to.

Today's Bushism

2008-01-30T13:19:00.000-05:00

From today's George W. Bushisms calendar - particularly timely in light of current recession fears:

"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."

--Appearing on The Edge with Paula Zahn;

September 18, 2000

Only 356 days left!

Parents' Career Day

2008-01-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

This morning I went to Parents' Career Day for Molly's Class. About 12 parents came to talk about what they do for a living.

There were a couple of lawyers, a couple of stock analysts, a financial planner, a massage therapist, an artist, and a few others.

I have a hard enough time explaining what I do to adults, no less eight-year olds but I must have done a pretty good job. The kids had prepared a list of questions the day before to ask parents like "Do you travel?", "Do you like the people you work with?", and "What did you want to be when you were growing up?" I was the only parent to get questions related to what I was talking about which means they were not only listening, but thinking it through.

I was also apparently fairly entertaining. When asked by one student what I would do if I didn't have this job, I said that when I was younger I wanted to be a detective but now I'd be a travel writer. Molly's teacher whispered to Betsy her response for me - stand-up comedian!

I had a great time, and hope that I inspired some second graders to consider a career in healthcare information technology consulting!

The Composer Is Dead

2008-01-26T13:32:00.000-05:00

Today we attended the New York premiere of a very cool musical performance piece entitled The Composer Is Dead with music by Nathaniel Stookey and words by Lemony Snicket. It was performed by The Little Orchestra Society and narrated live by Lemony Snicket

Yes, Lemony Snicket. For those who don't know, Lemony Snicket (the author of those books about a series of unfortunate events) is, in real life, Daniel Handler (read more here).

The Composer Is Dead is essentially a very humorous story intertwined with a symphonic musical piece that details the investigation of the murder of a composer. Daniel Handler proved that not only is he an outstanding author and storyteller, but a darn fine performer as well.

My favorite narrative part was from the beginning:

'A composer thinks up melodies, hums tunes, thinks about how the orchestra will sound and writes down the notes. This is called composing. This time, however, the composer was not humming tunes or writing down notes. In fact, he wasn't even breathing. This is called decomposing.'

It will be out in a picture book with accompanying CD in 2009. Look for it.

Troubled Tush

2008-01-16T09:07:00.000-05:00

Last night Sam told me the name of the book he took out from the library. I didn't believe him until he showed it to me.

"The Day My Butt Went Psycho - Based on a True Story."

Dickens it ain't . . .

Bushism Calendar

2008-01-09T16:25:00.000-05:00

I picked up a great 2008 desk calendar for my office - "George W. Bushisms" - containing a different quote from our fearless leader for each day of the year. It's also cool in that it features a countdown until he's out of office (only 377 days left from today!).

All of them are funny, but some are better than others so I will post one from time to time, starting with today's.

"This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates; these are the actual results for the fiscal year ended February thirtieth."

-- Referring to the fiscal year that ended

on September 30; Washington, D.C.;

October 11, 2006

Ben Stiller in Miami Vice

2008-01-07T14:45:00.000-05:00

I honestly don't know what made me remember this today, but I thought I'd share it as I got a big kick out of it at the time.

In the spring of 2001, I was in Tel Aviv on business (worked for an Israeli company at the time). Impacted by jet lag I found myself one morning flipping through TV channels at about 3:00AM. I stumbled across a channel that was having a Miami Vice marathon and given the paucity of other things to watch, I tuned in for a while. Imagine my surprise when Ben Stiller appeared in a bit part in this episode from 1987. The other funny thing is that Brian Dennehy also starred as a crooked minister aptly named "Reverend Billy Bob Proverb."

A Shout Out to Rob

2008-01-04T16:55:00.000-05:00

Rob is married to my cousin Dana and they live in the Dallas area. Rob is a great guy and a born and bred Brooklynite.

When Rob read my post about tourists in NYC at the holidays (check it out here), he loved it and told me that it helped him finally get Dana to understand how we feel about out-of-towners here in the Big Apple.

If only every entry in my blog could bring peace and understanding among the nations . . .

Santa Pics

2008-01-04T10:07:00.000-05:00

I just got some pictures from when I played Santa a few weeks ago (see original post here).

The first two are with some of the kids. The girl sitting on my knee in the first pic is the one who asked me to bring her a baby.

The third pic is with the CEO of the health center on my knee.

The fourth pic is Lorraine, the head of community outreach, helping to buckle the belt beneath my pillow-stuffed tummy. Out-of-context, it seems as if Santa is really enjoying the experience!

Boston Surprises

2008-01-02T09:09:00.000-05:00

We just came back from our annual trip to Boston for New Years. We go every year for their First Night celebration and an assortment of other activities including pool time at the hotel, at least one stop at the Museum of Science and lunch at Pizzeria Regina in the North End. This year we added some new meals at Boston landmarks including a lunch at Durgin Park, a dinner at Hammersley's Bistro (one of Betsy's favorite restaurants and we even had an opportunity to chat with Gordon Hammersley) and a breakfast at The Paramount on Beacon Hill. It was also pretty thrilling to be in town when the Pats took the Giants to claim their historic place in NFL history with a 16-0 regular season.

What surprised us this year was the kids' interest in some new activities. First was the Freedom Trail. Sammy and I had recently watched the movie 1776 - the film version of the Broadway show which details the events leading up to July 4, 1776 and the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Consequently, he was able to relate to many of the landmarks and was excited about linking what he learned in the movie with things that we were actually seeing. It was a cold day and Molly did a lot of complaining (soothed with a hot chocolate stop at Starbucks), but Sammy was loving it.

The next surprise was a special CSI exhibit at the Museum of Science. It was very well done and walks you through an interactive investigation of a crime through forensics which requires you to solve the mystery of a murder. A couple of years ago Sammy was very into detective work, but this time it was Molly that fully embraced it, even getting past her anxieties about death to solve the puzzle (the victim's ex-wife did the dirty deed).

Although the kids do like interactive museums, we decided to expose them to some art as well and took them to one of our favorites, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. Again, while Molly complained most of the time, Sammy really got into it, piecing together things he has learned in school over the past couple of years as well as having a general appreciation for all of the different types of art presented.

The last and perhaps most meaningful surprise was this morning. Before going back to work I had a chat with Molly about all of the things we did and asked her which she liked the most. We went through the very long list of activities and restaurants. Her favorite activity - which wasn't even on the list we came up with - truly warmed my heart. On Saturday night we went to Hammersley's with our family friend Jeanne who is one of my mother-in-law's oldest friends. It was about a 15 minute walk from our hotel and while Jeanne and Betsy strolled and chatted behind us, Sammy, Molly and I had a great time holding hands, telling jokes and riddles, and generally fooling around. It was the first time in a while that I was able to leave behind anything that was on my mind and just completely enjoy my kids. This was what Molly declared as her favorite activity and I nearly cried when she told me that.

A nice way to start the new year!

News Tickers Added

2007-12-28T13:41:00.000-05:00

Google has some pretty cool new features for blogs. One of them is the ability to add specific news feeds from Google News, so I'm having some fun with it. Scroll down and look on the right to see the latest news on the Spears family (You can select either Britney or Jamie Lynn) as well as the Lindsay Lohan news ticker. All links open a new window.

Any ideas for others, let me know.

Reindeer Games

2007-12-28T13:28:00.000-05:00

The building I work in has video screens in the elevators that provide news updates and trivia side-by-side with advertisements (because God knows we need to be entertained for the 45 seconds we're trapped in there . . .).

This morning, one of the trivia items it displayed was that reindeer are the only species of deer in which the females grow antlers. Consequently, Rudolph (and all of Santa's other reindeer) could be girls.

I'll bet it makes for interesting encounters in reindeer bars.

The Downside of the Holidays

2007-12-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

Now I don't mean to sound Scrooge-like, but hear me out.

I love the holidays.
I love the holidays in New York.
I love tourists because I enjoy sharing the city I adore with others and appreciate what they do for our economy.
I don't like tourists during the holidays.

It's not that I don't like them. It's just that as someone who has to walk through the theater district going to and from work, the heavy influx of tourists at this time of year who don't understand how to navigate our streets frustrates the crap out of me as I'm trying to make my way. I have, therefore, come up with the following tips for tourists in New York at the holidays:

1. Unless you're from the UK, a current or former British colony, or Japan - stay to the right. I can understand if you're from one of the previously mentioned locales and your natural instinct is to stay left, but for the other 96% of you - stay to the right! It will make walking on busy streets much easier.

2. Unless you're dressed like Marilyn Monroe (which you're not) or wearing spike heels (most of you are in sneakers), it's okay to walk on subway and transformer grates.

3. Eyes front while walking. This means:

Don't look at your map while walking;
Don't look up at the lights or tall buildings while you're walking;
Don't use your camera while walking. You will end up with someone giving your lens the bird.

If you want to do any of the above things, stop and pull over to the side.

4. Don't walk more than two or three abreast on the sidewalk. Otherwise, we will think of you as bowling pins and go for the strike. Or at least a 7 - 10 split.

5. If you must pose for a picture and are shooting across a crowded busy sidewalk, most people will stop or walk around you - ONLY if you don't take too long to pose or set up the camera. Otherwise your portrait will be marred by several passing faces in profile, some again giving your lens the bird.

6. The Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and TGI Fridays do NOT represent New York cuisine. You will never find New Yorkers there as patrons. These establishments exist in New York purely for your convenience should you get homesick.

7. We understand that you don't jay-walk, but please don't huddle up at the corner waiting for the light to change, blocking all access to the street. Jay-walking is a New Yorker's God-given right. Unless you too have the innate ability to triangulate the velocity of an oncoming taxi with the proximity to your kneecaps, move aside so we can finish crossing safely.

8. Just because you bought an NYPD or FDNY hat, doesn't mean we will assume you're a cop or firefighter. This is especially true when your buddy is wearing a shirt that says "FBI (Female Body Inspector)."

We don't mean to be rude. We know you're here to soak it all in, to enjoy the many sights and activities our fair city has to offer. We're happy to have you here. We also understand that you walk slowly.

It's just that we don't.

When you see someone walking purposefully with no hint of map or camera in hand and seemingly un-phased by all the bright lights, PLEASE just move out of the way so we can get about our business. Everyone will have a better holiday.

Vote Early, Vote Often

2007-12-19T09:01:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder that there are now only 12 days left to help Sumter Regional Hospital in Americus, Georgia win a free MRI (See my original post here). Please try and cast your vote once per day through the end of the year by going here and selecting Sumter Regional (should be the first to appear in the list).

I hope Santa has a Siemens Magnetom Essenza 1.5T in his bag for them . . .

Santa Matt or Matt Claus?

2007-12-18T16:30:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was approached by one of my clients - a community health center on the Upper West Side - because they needed a Santa for the annual kids holiday party. Since it is every nice Jewish boy's dream to play Santa (that, and to date a shiksa) I leapt at the opportunity.

I showed up on Saturday morning a week and a half ago and the first thing I noticed was the phenomenal job they had done creating a winter wonderland of the facility. There was a whole process whereby kids checked in while being serenaded by a choir, then proceeded through the halls to the first stop which was a picture with Santa and Mrs. Claus. They then proceeded down another hall to a second Santa and Mrs. Claus who gave them wrapped age and gender-appropriate gifts.

I was given my costume which was complete from the wig, beard and hat down to the big black fur-trimmed boots. A pillow added to my tummy and the transformation was complete. People there who know me didn't even recognize me.

For the first 2 hours, I was photo Santa, and the second 2 hours was gift Santa. Over 600 kids came through in those 4 hours!

A community health center serves Medicaid populations and the uninsured. More than a medical facility, it is a safe home for many of its patients. A place where they come and are treated not only for their conditions, but also with the utmost respect. That the entire staff turns out to put on this party for the kids is a tribute to the passion and compassion of those that work there. I was very proud to be a part of it.

I expected a lot of things. I expected some of the younger kids to be scared of me (I won many of them over). I expected some interesting questions ("Are you the real Santa?") and requests ("Santa, can please bring me a baby?" My response - "Well, it depends on what your mother looks like . . ." Yes, I'm kidding about my response). What I did not expect was the number of kids who, when it was their turn to approach me, just ran into my arms and gave me a great big hug.

I was honored and proud to serve in this capacity and have already been invited back for next year. In the meantime, the local ABC station covered the event (my client and this event are very prominent in NYC) and you can see the news clip here.

It was definitely the highlight of my holiday season. Hope yours is as rewarding and fulfilling.

New Playground

2007-12-14T19:20:00.000-05:00

It used to be that if you wanted to find me in my neighborhood (i.e. if I wasn't at home), you usually would have to look no further than Tower Records or Barnes & Noble, both a block and a half away.

A year ago Tower Records closed and I was terribly depressed. Spent more time at Barnes & Noble, though their excuse for a music department and complete lack of knowledgeable staff rubbed salt in the wound.

Thanksgiving week, Best Buy opened a few blocks away. Slightly bigger music selection than B&N and same lack of educated staff, but oh the gadgets!

If you know me, you know I like gadgets and I now get to wander wide-eyed through the aisles thinking up my wish list. I carry napkins for the drool that occasionally escapes the corner of my mouth. I bump into people a lot.

It's fun to see what's out and what's new, but it is also a sad reminder that as much as I am a gadget guy, my current stock of goodies are a bit behind the times. (Warning: Only gadget people may likely understand and/or appreciate the following!) I have a 4G iPod (though may have to go 6G as my measly 20GB drive is almost full and I want video), my GPS doesn't have integrated bluetooth, my digital SLR shoots only 6MP and my DVD player does not upconvert to 1080i (only have a 720p TV but who cares . . . gotta have it).

I know, I know - poor, poor boy . . . But you don't understand. Walking through Best Buy makes me want to be the best gadget guy I can be.

Maybe the Easter Bunny - ahem - I mean the Passover Porcupine will bring me goodies.

Molly's Instinct

2007-12-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

I believe I have mentioned in the past that my daughter has a trait that is not exactly socially friendly. She is quite gaseous. Since breaking wind is still very funny to a 7 year old, we are treated to her gastrointestinal feats of wonder on a regular basis even though we admonish her to control it if possible.

Last night Molly provided what can only be described as an explosive example of this condition. I responded with a very stern "MOLLY!!" Once she stopped laughing, she said "Dad, I can't help it. It's my instinct."

Only problem is that when Molly said that last word, she left off the "t" at the end. She was quite right. It is her "instink."

Limmud New York

2007-11-04T11:24:00.000-05:00

Many of you know that I am on the Steering Committee of an organization called Limmud NY - a festival of Jewish learning in which over 800 people come together for a 4 day event that celebrates all things Jewish through study, music, dance, film, prayer, and discussion. It's coming up January 17-21, 2008.

Last year I was on the Marketing team and created a short fun video as a promo for the January 2007 conference (check it out here). This year I am co-leading the Marketing Team and we created a fun "pop quiz" to both collect anecdotal data, but mostly to draw people to the website and demonstrate that we have a wicked sense of humor. Go to the Limmud NY homepage and take this month's quiz (and return each month for a new fun quiz).

If you'd like to know more about Limmud NY, feel free to contact me - I'd love to tell you all about it.

Scotrun, PA

2007-11-02T11:47:00.000-04:00

On I-80 in Pennsylvania, just over the border from New Jersey at the Delaware Water Gap, is a town called Scotrun. Every time I drive past and see the exit for Scotrun, the auto-correct function in my brain reads it as "Scrotum, PA." I recently found out that I am not the only one to whom this happens.

I think they should have a sign at the exit that says "Welcome to Scotrun - Have a ball!"

Help Sumter Regional Hospital - All It Takes Is A Click

2007-10-30T13:43:00.000-04:00

Earlier this year, Sumter Regional Hospital in southwest Georgia was destroyed by a tornado. The hospital served a largely poor rural population, and was the sole source of healthcare for many. They are currently operating from a temporary structure until the new hospital is completed in 2010. The shortfall between insurance and other payments and the funds necessary to complete the hospital is $13 million.

Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machines are very expensive, yet critical for diagnosing many complex conditions. Due to their cost, many smaller hospitals cannot afford one. Siemens, a large international corporation that has significant market share in medical equipment, is currently holding a "Win An MRI" contest. Hospitals of fewer than 180 beds create a video explaining why they should win a free MRI. Anyone can then go to the website, view the videos, and vote for the one they think most deserving.

Some of the videos are quite imaginative and amusing (think "Magnetic Redneck Imaging"), and all of them certainly need an MRI, but none of them have had to face what Sumter Regional has this year.

Please visit the website (click here), view the video for Sumter Regional Hospital by selecting it from the drop-down box, and cast your vote for them. You can vote once per day from the same computer through the end of December. The first time you vote, you have to watch the video all the way through (it's only a couple of minutes) - on subsequent visits, you can cast your vote as soon as the video starts. Watching the video is actually pretty amazing as it includes live images that were captured by the hospital's security cameras during the tornado.

So as they say in Chicago, "vote early and vote often" for Sumter Regional Hospital and help this critical service provider get back on its feet, and provide the care that is so desparately needed in their community.

We Own XM Radio!

2007-10-18T07:56:00.000-04:00

I work for RSM McGladrey - or, as I tell people - the biggest company nobody has ever heard of. We are actually the 5th largest professional services firm behind the "big 4".

It helped our brand recognition by sponsoring Zach Johnson in last year's PGA. When he won, I got about a dozen messages essentially saying, "Hey, now I've heard of your company" as our name was emblazoned across Zach's shirt.

Last week, nine-year old Sam told me that he asked all of his classmates and teachers, and none of them have ever heard of RSM McGladrey. Obviously, we need to target more of our marketing towards 4th graders.

We do have a big advertising campaign going on now, including a deal with the NY Yankees for next year's broadcasts, and we also sponsor the Traffic/Weather channels on XM Radio. Now Sam does not fully grasp the concept of advertising and sponsorship, so when we were in the car on Sunday and heard "This XM Radio traffic and weather update is sponsored by RSM McGladrey," Sam exclaimed, "Dad! RSM McGladrey bought XM Radio?!?!?"

Ithamar Enriquez

2007-10-18T07:51:00.000-04:00

I'm in Chicago on business which means that I went to Second City last night (I'm a HUGE SC fan, which also explains why I am a HUGE SNL fan . . .).

The cast was the same as the last time I was here almost a year ago, and while they are all excellent, there is one who stood out both last year and last night. His name is Ithamar Enriquez and I believe he is one of the most talented comedic actor/writers and improv artists that I have ever seen. I want it documented here first so that it will show up in Google searches for posterity that I predict big things for Ithamar.

I also want to meet him to know how to pronounce his first name.

My Daughter, The Boxer

2007-10-10T15:30:00.000-04:00

We don't have video games in our house (a rule) so when the kids go to a friend's house that does have them, it becomes a key area of interest and activity.

Molly's friend Hannah has a Nintendo Wii. Apparently, there is a boxing game with which Molly has become enamored and, it turns out, she's pretty good at it. She loves bragging that she's an excellent boxer.

I have started calling her Mohammed Mah-lee.

Little Things Make Me Happy

2007-09-25T08:59:00.000-04:00

Warning - This is probably of interest only to those who appreciate good design or gadgets.

It's true. Little things make me happy and especially when it is a seemingly little thing but one that makes a big difference to me, and one for which I would love to shake the hand of the person that thought it up.

On my old Blackberry, if a call came in while I was listening to my cell phone voicemail, the device would treat it like any other call waiting call and give me the option to ignore it, place the first call on hold and answer, or drop the first call and answer.

I got a new Blackberry Curve (8300) a few months ago and the other day while listening to my voicemail, another call came in. The device did not, however, treat it as a call waiting call, but rather as a regular call with no options for the first call. Since it was a call I wanted to take, I answered, assuming that it would just disconnect my voicemail session.

When finished with the call that had come in, I noticed that my voicemail call was still there in a suspended state. I resumed the call and the message I had been listening to started again from exactly where I had left off.

What this means is that someone at RIM got together with someone at AT&T and said, "Hey, how can we make this easier and more intuitive for the user?" Bravo!

Anjelica's Maracas

2007-09-16T21:25:00.000-04:00

Sam just started fourth grade. I have distinct memories of my own fourth grade experience, that being the turning point for me when I realized that I didn't hate girls, but was strangely attracted to them yet I didn't know why. I was expecting something similar of Sam, though he has never gone through a "I hate girls" stage and is, instead, friendly with many of his female classmates.

On the first day of school last week, Sam told us that his friend Anjelica came up to him and very matter of factly announced that she was wearing a bra. Sam related this story in a somewhat puzzled manner because he had no idea how he was supposed to react or what to do with this information. He was truly bewildered and we were more than just a bit amused by the situation.

A couple of days later, Sam was telling us about music class, and how all the students were using different percussion instruments. I jokingly asked if Anjelica was shaking her maracas. This reference went right over his head and he simply responded that Anjelica is not in his music class. Seven-year old Molly, however, got it right away and started giggling. Ever since, she turns to Sammy every so often and while doing a top-body shimmy, asks if Anjelica has been shaking her maracas at him.

What have I created?

Report from Dubai - Day Three/Final Report

2007-09-06T14:26:00.000-04:00

I forgot to mention in my last post that part of the conversation last night was around Arab-American perspectives. I was told that Arabs used to love going to the US for vacations but since 9/11 they have, for the most part, not returned due to the way that they were being treated. They found that they were being reported as suspicious simply for speaking Arabic in public. They also said that one of the reasons Muslim women would not fly was because they knew that some US airports employed x-ray machines that revealed a woman’s body. Not only did I state that I knew of no such devices in use, one of the physicians backed me up saying that such a machine would provide a view of a skeleton and any metal objects, but that the form of the body could not be discerned. The person who originally made the statement was suspicious about our responses and we quickly moved on to another topic.

This third and last day of my trip to Dubai was by far the best, and it had less to do with the conference than what transpired afterwards. Yes, I did have some good meetings including with the Saudi German Hospitals Group – the largest private healthcare company in the Middle East and North Africa – and two wonderful people from Jebel Ali Hospital with whom I then had lunch at the same Iranian restaurant in the hotel as where I had dinner last night (dinner was better, though I did get to have some very tasty Iranian desserts at lunch). But the invitation to visit a hospital and the subsequent dinner was the highlight.

I had initially pegged Zulekha Hospital as a potential target, but I came to realize that they really wanted just to pick my brain about some things that they were considering and to get some education on a particular area of my expertise. That was fine because what I got in return was worth it.

The tour of the hospital covered just about every inch of the facility. They are very proud of this 80-bed private hospital and the mission that it serves – and rightly so. Lead by the IT director and the director of the hospital, we saw the outpatient departments, the clinical laboratory, registration/admitting, the emergency department, patient rooms, nursing stations, the pharmacy, one of the operating rooms and the cardiac catheterization lab. It was a rare opportunity to get such an in-depth peek at a foreign hospital and being a hospital person, I not only enjoyed it all, but learned much about how healthcare is delivered in this country in the process, including a very different role for pharmacists than those that work in hospitals in the US. We then spent about an hour looking over their impressive IT infrastructure and the self-developed hospital information system that they have implemented. In that process I also learned all about the payment and reimbursement process in the country – also invaluable. We then had a long discussion about CPOE and closed loop medication processes (I don’t expect you to know what that is, and there is no simple way to explain it) with the director of the hospital, the chief pharmacist, another administrator and a physician. I figure that I gave them about an hour or two of free consulting but it was worth it given what I learned during my time there. It was positively delightful as they were so proud to show off their hospital to a knowledgeable and appreciative audience.

I should mention at this point that approximately 40% of the population of the UAE is Indian, as were all of the people that I was with, and it is this population that the hospital primarily serves. Dr. Zulekha, the founder and owner of the now two-hospital company which is also expanding in the UAE and into India, is an OB/GYN who started practicing in the early 1960’s, delivering babies by lantern light as their mothers arrived by camel. She went on to start a primary care clinic and eventually decided that high-quality, reasonably priced healthcare was needed by the Indian population so she started the hospital to serve them, with a strong focus on the patient experience. While she is still involved, her daughter and son-in-law now run the company.

In gratitude for my time, Ali – the late 20-something IT director – then took me out for one of the best meals I’ve ever had. I have always maintained that some of the best food can be found in dives and the place we went can only be described as a stand-up luncheonette counter outside a supermarket in one of the Indian sections of town. Ali just kept ordering different things, some of which I knew of, others I didn’t recognize and couldn’t pronounce so I can’t tell you what they were except that they were, for the most part, fried, spicy and delicious. Ali just kept saying “try this,” “hold it this way,” (everything was eaten by hand), “dip it in this sauce and then in this sauce,” etc. As I was still in my suit and it was about 100 degrees and humid – even in the dark of evening – he kept plying me with water and napkins with which to wipe my head. I think the whole meal cost about $7 for both of us.

It was a very nice way to wrap up my trip here. Had I known, I certainly would have stayed longer as I did not get to see most of the tourist sights and I am told that one of the best things to do is a late day 4X4 ride into the desert to a Bedouin tent where there is live music, belly dancing, camel rides and a feast fit for a king as you watch the sunset. If I come back, I will definitely try that experience. In the mean time, it is off to bed with a satisfied belly and then to the airport in the morning for the long journey home. All in all, it was a short but successful (I hope – the truth will be told in whether my meetings convert to signed contracts) trip to a strange and far off land to which I hope to someday return.

Report from Dubai - Day Two, Part 2

2007-09-05T23:04:00.000-04:00

Had dinner at Shahrzad last night, the Iranian restaurant here at the Hyatt. When you walk in, you feel as if you are taking a step back in time to a Bedouin tent with live music. Since everyone keeps asking me about the food, I will report that I had a wonderful soup called Ash-e-Adas which is a lentil soup with leeks, some cream and fresh squeezed lemon juice. The main course was Gheymeh Bademjan which is a traditional stew of lamb with yellow lentils, tomatoes, and topped with crispy fried eggplant served over scented rice. Delish! They also had shisha pipes available (also knows as hookahs) with various flavors available (apple, rose, others) but we did not partake.

Lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me so it’s a good thing today is the last day of the conference though it promises to be a long day since I will be going out with the folks from Zulekah Hospital after the conference ends. It is the start of their weekend and typical Arab evenings go late into the night so who knows when I will get in tonight.

Report from Dubai - Day Two

2007-09-05T11:10:00.000-04:00

Today was a work day – the first day of the congress I am attending which was kicked off by the Minister of Health for the United Arab Emirates. It was very formal – there was a red ribbon across the door of the ballroom where the opening session was held which was ceremoniously cut with silver scissors by the Minister upon his arrival.

It was very interesting and much of what I had read in “Understanding Arabs” paid off in terms of knowing how to interact. One of the pointers is that Arabs will not do business with you unless they get to know and like you. One of my meetings was with 4 administrators from a hospital group in the UAE. Afterwards I wasn’t sure how it had gone but I must have done something right as they tracked me down later to invite me to see their hospital tomorrow afternoon when the conference ends and then out to dinner. Especially nice as their weekend starts Thursday night.

I also met with a hospital in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia that will may likely lead to some work over there, and I am having dinner tonight with 4 medical directors from the Ministry of Health.

I also had a chance to meet with some of the other solution providers. In the US and particularly in the Northeast, everyone in my industry knows most of the other people. This concept has now extended around the globe as I found one person with whom we know 3 people in common and another who grew up on 73rd Street and Central Park West. Small world!

Not a bad day at all.

On the food front, the breakfast buffet here is nothing like I have ever experienced. As they must cater to Middle Eastern, Western, and Asian tastes there was a grand selection of items, some of which I had never heard of and fruits that I had never seen. Don’t ask me what anything was – it was just delicious.

The conference’s lunch was at the hotel’s Italian restaurant and while nice and tasty, nothing to write home about (or blog about).

Dinner tonight will be at the hotel’s Iranian restaurant which is highly regarded in Dubai both for the food and the atmosphere. Aside from the 4 docs, I will also be joined by the managing partner of our affiliate firm here in Dubai. That actually led to another interesting tid-bit. I let the managing partner know what I looked like and what I would be wearing so that we could find each other in the lobby of the hotel. He responded with what he looked like and simply that he would be wearing a suit - as opposed to the traditional white garment and headress.

All in all a good day and I’m looking forward to a good dinner. Am starting to get just a wee bit tired so it is a good thing that Muslims do not drink – otherwise I would probably pass out half way through dinner as the lack of sleep starts to catch up with me.

Report from Dubai - Day One, Part 2

2007-09-04T20:50:00.000-04:00

Not sure what’s up with my jet lag. I made it through the day on Tuesday finally hitting the sack around 9PM, but have now been up since 3:30AM. At least I got some sleep.

I have endured extreme heat before, but nothing prepared me for walking around yesterday. When I stopped at the concierge to check my directions for my planned jaunt, she said that I was very brave for undertaking such a walk and didn’t I want to take a cab? After about 15 minutes, I realized that she was probably right. The humidity wasn’t all that bad, but the heat is so intense that even my glasses were burning to the touch. It didn't help that I was in long pants as shorts are frowned upon here (can't reveal too much flesh).

I made it as far as the Gold Souk which was not all that interesting as neither Betsy nor I are very much into jewelry. Perhaps more interesting was that once I got a block from my hotel, I was in a blue-collar commercial section of town. There were shops offering just about anything one could want, yet none of them were particularly nice – mostly hole in the walls – but I got the sense that I was seeing part of Dubai that many tourists probably do not. It also seemed to be the center for shops that do custom modifications on cars. No garages – the work was being done right on the street in front of the storefronts.

Some other observations:

o I have a fairly dark complexion for a Caucasian so when traveling through Europe, no one really has ever pegged me as a tourist until I open my mouth and they hear my lousy accent. Here, however, I feel like a lily-white Irishman who hasn’t seen the light of day for months.

o Many Arab businessmen – essentially anyone in a white collar job – wear the traditional long white robe and headdress. I did not see many at all at the airport or on the ride to the hotel, but here at the Hyatt which plays host to many business meetings, at least 50% of the men in the lobby and other public areas were wearing just that, including the security guards. All the others were foreigners for the most part. I find it both interesting and somewhat amusing. The amusing part comes from the fact that in films and other exposure to the Arab world, I have always associated men in such dress as being leaders or royalty. Every time I pass an Arab man in the white flowing garb, my initial reaction is that he must be a sheik or emir when, in fact, he is just as likely to be the IT guy or a personnel manager.

o There are very few women in public here and many are dressed in black robes and fully veiled. Contrasted with this are the many commercials on TV featuring Western women in contemporary dress, until I realized that all of those commercials were for products that are geared towards outer appearance – cosmetics, weight loss products, etc.

When I returned to the hotel I checked out the attached upscale mini-mall which features an ice-skating rink, Fun Time Pizza (think Chucky Cheese) and Baskin Robbins. And everyone here seems to smoke, regardless of whether it is permitted or not. Now it makes sense why, on the flight from Paris, the crew repeated the fact that smoking is prohibited on board including in the lavatories about 8 times.

The revolving restaurant was completely booked last night so I ate in another of the hotel’s restaurants where I had an excellent Middle Eastern mixed grill before hitting the sack. Tonight I am hosting a dinner at what is supposed to be a very fancy Iranian restaurant (many of the restaurants in town are either Lebanese or Iranian).

More later.

Report from Dubai - Day One

2007-09-04T03:41:00.000-04:00

As some of you know, I am in Dubai attending a conference on Global Healthcare Expansion as a business development effort. There is a tremendous amount of growth in the hospital and primary care markets here in the MENA region (Middle East-North Africa) and I am using this congress as a test to determine if there is a place for the services my team provides.

What is more interesting, however, is the trip itself and as some requested, I hope to blog about it here.

I left New York yesterday on the morning flight to Paris, connecting there to Dubai. I must say that business class on Air France doesn’t suck. The food was quite good, the seating comfortable, and although I was working and did not take advantage of it there is a very good selection of on-demand films.

As much as I tried – took melatonin, used ear plugs and an eye shade – I just couldn’t fall asleep for more than a few minutes at a time on the second leg which was an overnight flight from Paris. Consequently I am now going on 24 hours without sleep and with the exception of a potential brief nap later this afternoon, I don’t expect to go to sleep for another 10 hours or so.

The first “a-ha” moment I had was towards the end of the flight as I watched our progress on the moving map. We flew right between Baghdad and Tehran – two places that I have known only through news reports, none of which made either city seem that inviting. The plane was equipped with an external camera which was way cool for watching take-off and landing, but which also provided a straight down view while in flight. Flying over Iraq and Iran, the landscape looked strangely like the American southwest from 39,000 feet.

I did a lot of research for my trip here, both on the business side, as well as the cultural. I picked up an excellent book – “Understanding Arabs” by Margaret Nydell – which proved to be an invaluable resource in terms of understanding the culture based on both a historical and modern perspective. Most importantly, it helps debunk myths regarding the differences between Muslims and Islamic Fundamentalists and also provides much great information on understanding the social and etiquette standards I expect to encounter.

Prior to coming, I had planned – if asked – to indicate that I am an agnostic as I had heard that Judaism is not respected here. The book, however, corrected me. Arab issues are with Israel – not Judaism. As a matter of fact, Islam is very closely aligned with Judaism and Muslims consider their religion to be much closer to Judaism than to Christianity. The other thing I learned is that Arabs do not respect atheists or agnostics as they believe that being religious – no matter what the religion – is something to be highly respected. I believe that if asked (which I probably won’t be anyway) I will likely respond that I am Jewish, from an Eastern European background.

Reading the book, however, could not have prepared me for my arrival in Dubai. The view from the plane reminded me partly of Elizabeth, NJ (a major port with container shipping quite evident) and partly the skyline of Shanghai. Here I was hoping for a culturally significant experience yet on the drive from the airport to my hotel (Hyatt Regency in Deira on the Corniche overlooking the Arabian Gulf – known in the US as the Persian Gulf). I felt instead that I could have been in Atlanta, L.A. or Miami Beach. The cars are big (mostly Toyotas, Hondas and BMWs including many SUVs), the streets wide, the buildings modern. Everything is in both Arabic and English though I think that there was more English than Arabic. Passed a Hardees and a Chili’s. Can’t escape American fast food. The only difference so far, is that when exiting the terminal at the airport, there is a separate “Ladies Waiting Area” emphasizing the fact that a woman’s role in Arab culture is still very different than Western cultures.

My room at the hotel was ready when I arrived at 9AM and I have been on-line dealing with e-mail since I checked in. As the conference starts tomorrow morning I plan to take a shower and head out in the immediate area this afternoon to check out the Gold Souk (market), Spice Souk, and take a boat ride across Dubai Creek to the Bur Dubai section of town. I plan to grab a shwarma for lunch and dinner will probably be at the hotel tonight in the revolving roof top restaurant. The views from the 25th floor are supposed to be spectacular and the international buffet pretty decent. Will report back soon. Ma’a ssalama (Goodbye) and a-salaam alaykum (Peace be upon you)!

I'm SO Proud Of My Brother!

2007-06-13T18:19:00.000-04:00

I have always been very proud of my brother Doug and impressed with all his accomplishments. He is an incredibly smart, talented, funny, and articulate scholar, gentleman, and all-around great guy. Today, however, he made me even prouder!

I am very happy to report that effective immediately, Doug is taking a leave of absence from his faculty position with the University of Maryland to assume the position of Staff Director of the Congressional Executive Commission on China for the duration of the 110th Congress (ends January 2009). Combining all his considerable experience, my brother will be sitting on Capitol Hill helping to guide the country's efforts in the monitoring of human rights and development of the rule of law in China. There are nine Senators, nine members of the House of Representatives and five senior Administration officials who sit as commissioners.

I can't stop smiling . . . Just wait 'til Mom hears about it!

RIP Studio 60

2007-05-31T13:28:00.000-04:00

It has been a long time since I was upset about a television show being canceled. Certainly part of the reason is due to the load of crap that is on network airwaves, so there's not that much to miss in the first place.

This past season saw two shows debut that are based not so loosely on my beloved Saturday Night Live. 30 Rock started out uneven but continued to grow on me. It is some of the best stuff that Alec Baldwin has ever done and although Tracy Morgan and Judah Friedlander continue to amuse and entertain, and Jack McBrayer's Kenneth may be the most memorable character in a long time, it is Baldwin that keeps me coming back - especially when in a catfight with Isabella Rossellini (one of the 3 most beautiful women in the world in my book, the other two being Catherine Deneuve and Ashley Judd).

But that's a sitcom. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is one of the best dramedies on the tube. It mixes sharp, crisp, and intelligent dialogue with a backstage view much more real than 30 Rock. Although the story lines are somewhat above average and sometimes jump the shark (e.g. the two-part Pahrump episode), the acting, the script, and the characters kept me coming back. Especially for anyone who has seen D.L. Hughley on stage doing his act, Studio 60 provides a view into just how smart and articulate this actor/comedian is and also highlights Timothy Busfield's talents which have gone largely wasted since thirtysomething and Revenge of the Nerds.

There were a number of on-line petitions that obviously failed to make a difference to the network execs who will end its run at the end of this season. I'm in no position to argue given that I have nothing to do with the business, but I question the intelligence of those that cancel shows like Studio 60, not to mention Arrested Development. I know that eyeballs are what keep shows on the air - someone's got to pay the bills - but it's just a darn shame when quality programming suffers as a result.

Rest In Peace Studio 60 and may the DVD set of the one and only season be out soon.